CHAPTER V.
PRONOUNCED INSANE.
“Here is a poor girl who has been drugged,” explained
the judge. “She looks like my sister, and any
one can see she is a good girl. I am interested in the
child, and I would do as much for her as if she were my
own. I want you to be kind to her,” he said to the ambulance
surgeon. Then, turning to Mrs. Stanard, he
asked her if she could not keep me for a few days until
my case was inquired into. Fortunately, she said she
could not, because all the women at the Home were
afraid of me, and would leave if I were kept there. I
was very much afraid she would keep me if the pay was
assured her, and so I said something about the bad cooking
and that I did not intend to go back to the Home.
Then came the examination; the doctor looked clever
and I had not one hope of deceiving him, but I determined
to keep up the farce.
“Put out your tongue,” he ordered, briskly.
I gave an inward chuckle at the thought.
“Put out your tongue when I tell you,” he said.
“I don’t want to,” I answered, truthfully enough.
“You must. You are sick, and I am a doctor.”
31“I am not sick and never was. I only want my
trunks.”
But I put out my tongue, which he looked at in a
sagacious manner. Then he felt my pulse and listened
to the beating of my heart. I had not the least idea how
the heart of an insane person beat, so I held my breath
all the while he listened, until, when he quit, I had to
give a gasp to regain it. Then he tried the effect of the
light on the pupils of my eyes. Holding his hand within
a half inch of my face, he told me to look at it, then,
jerking it hastily away, he would examine my eyes. I
was puzzled to know what insanity was like in the eye, so
I thought the best thing under the circumstances was to
stare. This I did. I held my eyes riveted unblinkingly
upon his hand, and when he removed it I exerted all my
strength to still keep my eyes from blinking.
AN INSANITY EXPERT AT WORK.
“What drugs have you been taking?” he then asked
me.
“Drugs!” I repeated, wonderingly. “I do not know
what drugs are.”
“The pupils of her eyes have been enlarged ever since
32she came to the Home. They have not changed once,”
explained Mrs. Stanard. I wondered how she knew
whether they had or not, but I kept quiet.
“I believe she has been using belladonna,” said the
doctor, and for the first time I was thankful that I was a
little near-sighted, which of course answers for the enlargement
of the pupils. I thought I might as well be
truthful when I could without injuring my case, so I told
him I was near-sighted, that I was not in the least ill,
had never been sick, and that no one had a right to
detain me when I wanted to find my trunks. I wanted
to go home. He wrote a lot of things in a long, slender
book, and then said he was going to take me home. The
judge told him to take me and to be kind to me, and to
tell the people at the hospital to be kind to me, and to do
all they could for me. If we only had more such men as
Judge Duffy, the poor unfortunates would not find life all
darkness.
I began to have more confidence in my own ability
now, since one judge, one doctor, and a mass of people
had pronounced me insane, and I put on my veil quite
gladly when I was told that I was to be taken in a carriage,
and that afterward I could go home. “I am so
glad to go with you,” I said, and I meant it. I was very
glad indeed. Once more, guarded by Policeman Brockert,
I walked through the little, crowded courtroom. I
felt quite proud of myself as I went out a side door into
an alleyway, where the ambulance was waiting. Near the
closed and barred gates was a small office occupied by
several men and large books. We all went in there, and
when they began to ask me questions the doctor interposed
and said he had all the papers, and that it was
useless to ask me anything further, because I was unable
to answer questions. This was a great relief to me, for
my nerves were already feeling the strain. A rough-looking
man wanted to put me into the ambulance, but I
33refused his aid so decidedly that the doctor and policeman
told him to desist, and they performed that gallant
office themselves. I did not enter the ambulance without
protest. I made the remark that I had never seen a
carriage of that make before, and that I did not want to
ride in it, but after awhile I let them persuade me, as I
had right along intended to do.
I shall never forget that ride. After I was put in flat
on the yellow blanket, the doctor got in and sat near the
door. The large gates were swung open, and the curious
crowd which had collected swayed back to make way
for the ambulance as it backed out. How they tried to
get a glimpse at the supposed crazy girl! The doctor
saw that I did not like the people gazing at me, and considerately
put down the curtains, after asking my wishes
in regard to it. Still that did not keep the people away.
The children raced after us, yelling all sorts of slang expressions,
and trying to get a peep under the curtains.
It was quite an interesting drive, but I must say that it
was an excruciatingly rough one. I held on, only there
was not much to hold on to, and the driver drove as if he
feared some one would catch up with us.