I HAVE SPOKEN
It was a week after Nyleptha's visit, when I had begun
to get about a little in the middle of the day, that a message came to me
from Sir Henry to say that Sorais would be brought before them in the
Queen's first antechamber at midday, and requesting my attendance if
possible. Accordingly, greatly drawn by curiosity to see this unhappy
woman once more, I made shift, with the help of that kind little fellow
Alphonse, who is a perfect treasure to me, and that of another waiting-man,
to reach the antechamber. I got there, indeed, before anybody else, except
a few of the great Court officials who had been bidden to be present, but I
had scarcely seated myself before Sorais was brought in by a party of
guards, looking as beautiful and defiant as ever, but with a worn
expression on her proud face. She was, as usual, dressed in her royal
'kaf', emblazoned with the emblem of the Sun, and in her right hand she
still held the toy spear of silver. A pang of admiration and pity went
through me as I looked at her, and struggling to my feet I bowed deeply, at
the same time expressing my sorrow that I was not able, owing to my
condition, to remain standing before her.
She coloured a little and then laughed bitterly. 'Thou
dost forget, Macumazahn,' she said, 'I am no more a Queen, save in blood; I
am an outcast and a prisoner, one whom all men should scorn, and none show
'At least,' I replied, 'thou art still a lady, and
therefore one to whom deference is due. Also, thou art in an evil case,
and therefore it is doubly due.'
'Ah!' she answered, with a little laugh, 'thou dost
forget that I would have wrapped thee in a sheet of gold and hung thee to
the angel's trumpet at the topmost pinnacle of the Temple.'
'No,' I answered, 'I assure thee that I forgot it not;
indeed, I often thought of it when it seemed to me that the battle of the
Pass was turning against us; but the trumpet is there, and I am still here,
though perchance not for long, so why talk of it now?'
'Ah!' she went on, 'the battle! the battle! Oh, would
that I were once more a Queen, if only for one little hour, and I would
take such a vengeance on those accursed jackals who deserted me in my need;
that it should only be spoken of in whispers; those woman, those
pigeon-hearted half-breeds who suffered themselves to be overcome!' and she
choked in her wrath.
'Ay, and that little coward beside thee,' she went on,
pointing at Alphonse with the silver spear, whereat he looked very
uncomfortable; 'he escaped and betrayed my plans. I tried to make a
general of him, telling the soldiers it was Bougwan, and to scourge valour
into him' (here Alphonse shivered at some unhappy recollection), 'but it
was of no avail. He hid beneath a banner in my tent and thus overheard my
plans. I would that I had slain him, but, alas! I held my hand.
'And thou, Macumazahn, I have heard of what thou didst;
thou art brave, and hast a loyal heart. And the black one too, ah, he was
a man. I would fain have seen him hurl Nasta from the
'Thou art a strange woman, Sorais,' I said; 'I pray thee
now plead with the Queen Nyleptha, that perchance she may show mercy unto
She laughed out loud. 'I plead for mercy!' she said and
at that moment the Queen entered, accompanied by Sir Henry and Good, and
took her seat with an impassive face. As for poor Good, he looked
intensely ill at ease.
'Greeting, Sorais!' said Nyleptha, after a short pause.
'Thou hast rent the kingdom like a rag, thou hast put thousands of my
people to the sword, thou hast twice basely plotted to destroy my life by
murder, thou hast sworn to slay my lord and his companions and to hurl me
from the Stairway. What hast thou to say why thou shouldst not die?
Speak, O Sorais!'
'Methinks my sister the Queen hath forgotten the chief
count of the indictment,' answered Sorais in her slow musical tones. 'It
runs thus: "Thou didst strive to win the love of my lord Incubu." It is
for this crime that my sister will slay me, not because I levied war. It
is perchance happy for thee, Nyleptha, that I fixed my mind upon his love
'Listen,' she went on, raising her voice. 'I have
nought to say save that I would I had won instead of lost. Do thou with me
even as thou wilt, O Queen, and let my lord the King there' (pointing to
Sir Henry) -- 'for now will he be King -- carry out the sentence, as it is
meet he should, for as he is the beginning of the evil, let him also be the
end.' And she drew herself up and shot one angry glance at him from her
deep fringed eyes, and then began to toy with her spear.
Sir Henry bent towards Nyleptha and whispered something
that I could not catch, and then the Queen spoke.
'Sorais, ever have I been a good sister to thee. When
our father died, and there was much talk in the land as to whether thou
shouldst sit upon the throne with me, I being the elder, I gave my voice
for thee and said, "Nay, let her sit. She is twin with me; we were born at
a birth; wherefore should the one be preferred before the other?" And so
has it ever been 'twixt thee and me, my sister. But now thou knowest in
what sort thou hast repaid me, but I have prevailed, and thy life is
forfeit, Sorais. And yet art thou my sister, born at a birth with me, and
we played together when we were little and loved each other much, and at
night we slept in the same cot with our arms each around the other's neck,
and therefore even now does my heart go out to thee, Sorais.
'But not for that would I spare thy life, for thy
offence has been too heavy; it doth drag down the wide wings of my mercy
even to the ground. Also, while thou dost live the land will never be at
'Yet shalt thou not die, Sorais, because my dear lord
here hath begged thy life of me as a boon; therefore as a boon and as a
marriage gift give I it to him, to do with even as he wills, knowing that,
though thou dost love him, he loves thee not, Sorais, for all thy beauty.
Nay, though thou art lovely as the night in all her stars, O Lady of the
Night, yet it is me his wife whom he loves, and not thee, and therefore do
I give thy life to him.'
Sorais flushed up to her eyes and said nothing, and I do
not think that I ever saw a man look more miserable than did Sir Henry at
that moment. Somehow, Nyleptha's way of putting the thing, though true and
forcible enough, was not altogether pleasant.
'I understand,' stammered Curtis, looking at Good, 'I
understood that he were attached -- eh -- attached to -- to the Queen
Sorais. I am -- eh -- not aware what the -- in short, the state of your
feelings may be just now; but if they happened to be that way inclined, it
has struck me that -- in short, it might put a satisfactory end to an
unpleasant business. The lady also has ample private estates, where I am
sure she would be at liberty to live unmolested as far as we are concerned,
eh, Nyleptha? Of course, I only suggest.'
'So far as I am concerned,' said Good, colouring up, 'I
am quite willing to forget the past; and if the Lady of the Night thinks me
worth the taking I will marry her tomorrow, or when she likes, and try to
make her a good husband.'
All eyes were now turned to Sorais, who stood with that
same slow smile upon her beautiful face which I had noticed the first time
that I ever saw her. She paused a little while, and cleared her throat,
and then thrice she curtseyed low, once to Nyleptha, once to Curtis, and
once to Good, and began to speak in measured tones.
'I thank thee, most gracious Queen and royal sister, for
the loving-kindness thou hast shown me from my youth up, and especially in
that thou hast been pleased to give my person and my fate as a gift to the
Lord Incubu -- the King that is to be. May prosperity, peace and plenty
deck the life-path of one so merciful and so tender, even as flowers do.
Long mayst thou reign, O great and glorious Queen, and hold thy husband's
love in both thy hands, and many be the sons and daughters of thy beauty.
And I thank thee, my Lord Incubu -- the King that is to be -- I thank thee
a thousand times in that thou hast been pleased to accept that gracious
gift, and to pass it on to thy comrade in arms and in adventure, the Lord
Bougwan. Surely the act is worthy of thy greatness, my Lord Incubu. And
now, lastly, I thank thee also, my Lord Bougwan, who in thy turn hast
deigned to accept me and my poor beauty. I thank thee a thousand times,
and I will add that thou art a good and honest man, and I put my hand upon
my heart and swear that I would that I could say thee "yea". And now that
I have rendered thanks to all in turn' -- and again she smiled -- 'I will
add one short word.
'Little can you understand of me, Queen Nyleptha and my
lords, if ye know not that for me there is no middle path; that I scorn
your pity and hate you for it; that I cast off your forgiveness as though
it were a serpent's sting; and that standing here, betrayed, deserted,
insulted, and alone, I yet triumph over you, mock you, and defy you, one
and all, and thus I answer you.' And then, of a sudden, before
anybody guessed what she intended to do, she drove the little silver spear
she carried in her hand into her side with such a strong and steady aim
that the keen point projected through her back, and she fell prone upon the
Nyleptha shrieked, and poor Good almost fainted at the
sight, while the rest of us rushed towards her. But Sorais of the Night
lifted herself upon her hand, and for a moment fixed her glorious eyes
intently on Curtis' face, as though there were some message in the glance,
then dropped her head and sighed, and with a sob her dark but splendid
Well, they gave her a royal funeral, and there was an
end of her.
It was a month after the last act of the Sorais tragedy
that a great ceremony was held in the Flower Temple, and Curtis was
formally declared King-Consort of Zu-Vendis. I was too ill to go myself;
and indeed, I hate all that sort of thing, with the crowds and the
trumpet-blowing and banner-waving; but Good, who was there (in his
full-dress uniform), came back much impressed, and told me that Nyleptha
had looked lovely, and Curtis had borne himself in a right royal fashion,
and had been received with acclamations that left no doubt as to his
popularity. Also he told me that when the horse Daylight was led along in
the procession, the populace had shouted 'Macumazahn, Macumazahn!'
till they were hoarse, and would only be appeased when he, Good, rose in
his chariot and told them that I was too ill to be present.
Afterwards, too, Sir Henry, or rather the King, came to
see me, looking very tired, and vowing that he had never been so bored in
his life; but I dare say that that was a slight exaggeration. It is not in
human nature that a man should be altogether bored on such an extraordinary
occasion; and, indeed, as I pointed out to him, it was a marvellous thing
that a man, who but little more than one short year before had entered a
great country as an unknown wanderer, should today be married to its
beautiful and beloved Queen, and lifted, amidst public rejoicings, to its
throne. I even went the length to exhort him in the future not to be
carried away by the pride and pomp of absolute power, but always to strive
to remember that he was first a Christian gentleman, and next a public
servant, called by Providence to a great and almost unprecedented trust.
These remarks, which he might fairly have resented, he was so good as to
receive with patience, and even to thank me for making them.
It was immediately after this ceremony that I caused
myself to be moved to the house where I am now writing. It is a very
pleasant country seat, situated about two miles from the Frowning City, on
to which it looks. That was five months ago, during the whole of which
time I have, being confined to a kind of couch, employed my leisure in
compiling this history of our wanderings from my journal and from our joint
memories. It is probable that it will never be read, but it does not much
matter whether it is or not; at any rate, it has served to while away many
hours of suffering, for I have suffered a deal of pain lately. Thank God,
however, there will not be much more of it.
It is a week since I wrote the above, and now I take up
my pen for the last time, for I know that the end is at hand. My brain is
still clear and I can manage to write, though with difficulty. The pain in
my lung, which has been very bad during the last week, has suddenly quite
left me, and been succeeded by a feeling of numbness of which I cannot
mistake the meaning. And just as the pain has gone, so with it all fear of
that end has departed, and I feel only as though I were going to sink into
the arms of an unutterable rest. Happily, contentedly, and with the same
sense of security with which an infant lays itself to sleep in its mother's
arms, do I lay myself down in the arms of the Angel Death. All the
tremors, all the heart-shaking fears which have haunted me through a life
that seems long as I looked back upon it, have left me now; the storms have
passed, and the Star of our Eternal Hope shines clear and steady on the
horizon that seems so far from man, and yet is so very near to me
And so this is the end of it -- a brief space of
troubling, a few restless, fevered, anguished years, and then the arms of
that great Angel Death. Many times have I been near to them, and now it is
my turn at last, and it is well. Twenty-four hours more and the world will
be gone from me, and with it all its hopes and all its fears. The air will
close in over the space that my form filled and my place know me no more;
for the dull breath of the world's forgetfulness will first dim the
brightness of my memory, and then blot it out for ever, and of a truth I
shall be dead. So is it with us all. How many millions have lain as I
lie, and thought these thoughts and been forgotten! -- thousands upon
thousands of years ago they thought them, those dying men of the dim past;
and thousands on thousands of years hence will their descendants think them
and be in their turn forgotten. 'As the breath of the oxen in winter, as
the quick star that runs along the sky, as a little shadow that loses
itself at sunset,' as I once heard a Zulu called Ignosi put it, such is the
order of our life, the order that passeth away.
Well, it is not a good world -- nobody can say that it
is, save those who wilfully blind themselves to facts. How can a world be
good in which Money is the moving power, and Self-interest the guiding
star? The wonder is not that it is so bad, but that there should be any
good left in it.
Still, now that my life is over, I am glad to have
lived, glad to have known the dear breath of woman's love, and that true
friendship which can even surpass the love of woman, glad to have heard the
laughter of little children, to have seen the sun and the moon and the
stars, to have felt the kiss of the salt sea on my face, and watched the
wild game trek down to the water in the moonlight. But I should not wish
to live again!
Everything is changing to me. The darkness draws near,
and the light departs. And yet it seems to me that through that darkness I
can already see the shining welcome of many a long-lost face. Harry is
there, and others; one above all, to my mind the sweetest and most perfect
woman that ever gladdened this grey earth. But of her I have already
written elsewhere, and at length, so why speak of her now? Why speak of
her after this long silence, now that she is again so near to me, now that
I go where she has gone?
The sinking sun is turning the golden roof of the great
Temple to a fiery flame, and my fingers tire.
So to all who have known me, or known of me, to all who
can think one kindly thought of the old hunter, I stretch out my hand from
the far-off shore and bid a long farewell.
And now into the hands of Almighty God, who sent it, do
I commit my spirit.
'I have spoken,' as the Zulus say.