Windsor Castle by William Harrison Ainsworth
BOOK IV — CARDINAL WOLSEY
CHAPTER V
Of the Combat between Will Sommers and Patch—
And how it
terminated.
Mabel's heart fluttered violently at the usher's
announcement, and for a moment the colour deserted her cheek, while the next
instant she was covered with blushes. As to poor Patch, feeling that his
indiscretion might place him in great jeopardy and seriously affect his
master, to whom he was devotedly attached, he cast a piteous and imploring
look at his antagonist, but was answered only by a derisive laugh, coupled
with an expressive gesture to intimate that a halter would be his fate.
Fearful that mischief might ensue, the good-natured Simon Quanden got out of
his chair and earnestly besought Will not to carry matters too far; but the
jester remained implacable.
It was not unusual with Henry to visit the different offices of the castle
and converse freely and familiarly with the members of his household, but it
was by no means safe to trust to the continuance of his good humour, or in
the slightest degree to presume upon it. It is well known that his taste for
variety of character often led him, like the renowned Caliph Haroun Al
Raschid, to mix with the lower classes of his subjects in disguise, at which
times many extraordinary adventures are said to have befallen him. His
present visit to the kitchen, therefore, would have occasioned no surprise to
its occupants if it had not occurred so soon after the cardinal's arrival.
But it was this circumstance, in fact, that sent him thither. The
intelligence brought by Wolsey of the adjournment of the court for three
days, under the plea of giving the queen time for her allegations, was so
unlooked for by Henry that he quitted the cardinal in high displeasure, and
was about to repair to Anne Boleyn, when he encountered Bouchier, who told
him that Mabel Lyndwood had been brought to the castle, and her grandsire
arrested. The information changed Henry's intentions at once, and he
proceeded with Bouchier and some other attendants to the kitchen, where he
was given to understand he should find the damsel.
Many a furtive glance was thrown at the king, for no one dared openly to
regard him as he approached the forester's fair granddaughter. But he tarried
only a moment beside her, chucked her under the chin, and, whispering a word
or two in her ear that heightened her blushes, passed on to the spot where
the two jesters were standing.
"What dost thou here, knave?" he said to Will Sommers.
"I might rather ask that question of your majesty," replied Will; "and I
would do so but that I require not to be told"
"I have come to see what passeth in my household," replied the king,
throwing himself into the chair lately occupied by the chief cook. "Ah, Hob
and Nob, my merry rascals," he cried, patting the turnspits, who ran towards
him and thrust their noses against his hand, " ye are as gamesome and loving
as ever, I see. Give me a manchet for them, Master Cook, and let not the
proceedings in the kitchen be stayed for my presence. I would not have my
supper delayed, or the roasts spoiled, for any false ceremony. And now, Will,
what hast thou to say that thou lookest so hard at me?"
"I have a heavy charge to bring against this knave, an' please your
majesty," replied Will Sommers, pointing to Patch.
"What! hath he retorted upon thee too sharply? "replied the king,
laughing. "If so, challenge him to the combat, and settle the grievance with
thy lathen dagger. But refer not the matter to me. I am no judge in fools'
quarrels."
"Your own excepted," muttered Will. "This is not a quarrel that can be so
adjusted," he added aloud. "I charge this rascal Patch with speaking
disrespectfully of your highness in the hearing of the whole kitchen. And I
also charge his master the cardinal with having secreted in his cellars at
Hampton a vast amount of treasure, obtained by extortion, privy dealings with
foreign powers, and other iniquitous practices, and which ought of right to
find its way to your royal exchequer."
"'And which shall find its way thither, if thou dost not avouch a fable,"
replied the king.
"Your majesty shall judge," rejoined Will. And he repeated the story which
he had just before related.
"Can this be true?" exclaimed Henry at its close.
"It is false, your highness, every word of it," cried Patch, throwing
himself at the king's feet, "except so far as relates to our visits to the
cellar, where, I shame to speak it, we drank so much that our senses clean
forsook us. As to my indiscreet speech touching your majesty, neither
disrespect nor disloyalty were intended by it. I was goaded to the rejoinder
by the sharp sting of this hornet."
"The matter of the treasure shall be inquired into without delay," said
Henry. "As to the quarrel, it shall be settled thus. Get both of you upon
that table. A flour-bag shall be given to each; and he who is first knocked
off shall be held vanquished."
The king's judgment was received with as much applause as dared be
exhibited by the hearers; and in an instant the board was cleared, and a
couple of flour-bags partly filled delivered to the combatants by Simon
Quanden, who bestirred himself with unwonted activity on the occasion.
Leaping upon the table, amid the smothered mirth of the assemblage, the
two jesters placed themselves opposite each other, and grinned such comical
defiance that the king roared with laughter. After a variety of odd movements
and feints on either side, Patch tried to bring down his adversary by a
tremendous two-handed blow; but in dealing it, the weight of the hag dragged
him forward, and well-nigh pitched him head foremost upon the floor. As it
was, he fell on his face upon the table, and in this position received
several heavy blows upon the prominent part of his back from Will Sommers.
Ere long, however, he managed to regain his legs, and, smarting with pain,
attacked his opponent furiously in his turn. For a short space fortune seemed
to favour him. His bag had slightly burst, and the flour, showering from it
with every blow, well-nigh blinded his adversary, whom he drove to the very
edge of the table. At this critical juncture Will managed to bring down his
bag full upon his opponent's sconce, and the force of the blow bursting it,
Patch was covered from crown to foot with flour, and blinded in his turn. The
appearance of the combatants was now so exquisitely ridiculous, that the king
leaned back in his chair to indulge his laughter, and the mirth of the
spectators could no longer be kept within decorous limits. The very turnspits
barked in laughing concert.
"Well fought on both sides! "cried Henry; "it were hard to say which will
prove the victor. Now, knaves, to it again—ha! ha!—to it
again!"
Once more the bags were wielded, descended, and the blows were so well
directed on either side, that both combatants fell backwards. Again the
king's laughter rose loud and long. Again the merriment of the other
beholders was redoubled. Again Hob and Nob barked joyously, and tried to
spring on to the table to take part in the conflict. Amid the general glee,
the combatants rose and renewed the fight, dealing blows thick and
fast—for the bags were now considerably lightened of their
contents—until they were completely hidden from view by a cloud of
white dust.
"We cannot see the fray," remarked Henry; "but we can hear the din of
battle. Which will prove the victor, I marvel?"
"I am for Will Sommers," cried Bouchier.
"And I for Patch," said Simon Quanden. "Latterly he hath seemed to me to
have the advantage."
"It is decided!" cried the king, rising, as one of the combatants was
knocked off the table, and fell to the floor with a great noise. "Who is
it?"
"Patch," replied a faint voice. And through the cloud of dust struggled
forth the forlorn figure of the cardinal's jester, while Will Sommers leaped
triumphantly to the ground.
"Get thee to a wash-tub, knave, and cleanse thyself," said Henry,
laughing. "In consideration of the punishment thou hast undergone, I pardon
thee thy treasonable speech."
So saying, he rose, and walked towards Mabel, who had been quite as much
alarmed as amused by the scene which had just taken place.
"I hope you have been as well cared for, damsel," he said, " since your
arrival at the castle, as you cared for the Duke of Suffolk and myself when
we visited your cottage?
"I have had everything I require, my liege," replied Mabel timidly.
"Dame Quanden will take charge of you till to-morrow," rejoined the king,
"when you will enter upon the service of one of our dames."
"Your majesty is very considerate," said Mabel, "but I would rather go
back at early dawn to my grandsire."
"That is needless," rejoined the king sternly. "Your grandsire is in the
castle."
"I am glad to hear it! " exclaimed Mabel. And then,altering her tone, for
she did not like the expression of the king's countenance, she added, "I hope
he has not incurred your majesty's displeasure."
"I trust he will be able to clear himself, Mabel," said Henry, "but he
labours under the grave suspicion of leaguing with lawless men."
Mabel shuddered, for the thought of what she had witnessed on the previous
night during the storm rushed forcibly to her recollection. The king noticed
her uneasiness, and added, in a gentler tone, "If he makes such confession as
will bring the others to justice, he has nothing to fear. Dame Quanden, I
commit this maiden to your charge. To-morrow she will take her place as
attendant to the Lady Elizabeth Fitzgerald."
So saying, he moved off with Bouchier and the rest of his attendants,
leaving Mabel to the care of the cook's good humoured spouse, who seeing her
eyes filled with tears, strove to cheer her, and led her towards a small
side-table, where she pressed wine and cates upon her.
"Be of good cheer, sweetheart," she said, in a soothing tone; "no harm
will befall your grandfather. You are much too high in favour with the king
for that."
"I liked the king much better as I saw him at our cottage, good dame,"
replied Mabel, smiling through her tears, "in the guise of a Guildford
merchant. He seemed scarcely to notice me just now."
"That was because so many eyes were upon you, sweet-heart," replied
Deborah; "but sooth to say, I should be better pleased if he did not notice
you at all."
Mabel blushed, and hung her head.
"I am glad you are to be an attendant on the Lady Fitzgerald," pursued
Deborah, "for she is the fairest young lady at court, and as good and gentle
as she is fair, and I am sure you will find her a kind mistress. I will tell
you something about her. She is beloved by the king's son, the Duke of
Richmond, but she requites not his passion, for her heart is fixed on the
youthful Earl of Surrey. Alack-a-day! the noble rivals quarrelled and crossed
swords about her; but as luck would have it, they were separated before any
mischief was done. The king was very wroth with Lord Surrey, and ordered him
to be imprisoned for two months in the Round Tower, in this castle, where he
is now, though his term has very nearly expired."
"How I pity him, to be thus harshly treated!" remarked Mabel, her eyes
swimming with tears, "and the Lady Elizabeth too! I shall delight to serve
her."
"I am told the earl passes the whole of his time in poring over books and
writing love-verses and sonnets," said Deborah. "It seems strange that one so
young should be a poet; but I suppose he caught the art from his friend Sir
Thomas Wyat."
"Is he a friend of Sir Thomas Wyat?" asked Mabel quickly.
His close friend," replied Deborah; "except the Duke of Richmond, now his
rival, he had none closer. Have you ever seen Sir Thomas, sweetheart?"
"Yes, for a few moments," replied Mabel confusedly.
"I heard that he lingered for a short time in the forest before his
departure for Paris," said Dame Quanden. "There was a strange rumour that he
had joined the band of Herne the Hunter. But that must have been untrue."
"Is he returned from France?" inquired Mabel, without heeding the
remark.
I fancy not," replied the good dame. " At all events, he is not come to
the castle. Know you not," she added, in a low confidential tone, "that the
king is jealous of him? He was a former suitor to the Lady Anne Boleyn, and
desperately in love with her; and it is supposed that his mission to France
was only a pretext to get him out of the way."
"I suspected as much," replied Mabel. "Alas! for Sir Thomas; and alas! for
the Earl of Surrey."
"And alas! for Mabel Lyndwood, if she allows her heart to be fixed upon
the king," said Deborah.
While this was passing the business of the kitchen, which had been
interrupted by the various incidents above related, and especially by the
conflict between the two jesters, was hurried forward, and for some time all
was bustle and confusion.
But as soon as the supper was served, and all his duties were fully
discharged, Simon Quanden, who had been bustling about, sat down in his
easy-chair, and recruited himself with a toast and a sack posset. Hob and Nob
had their supper at the same time, and the party at the table, which had been
increased by the two archers and Nicholas Clamp, attacked with renewed vigour
a fresh supply of mead and ale, which had been provided for them by Jack of
the Bottles.
The conversation then turned upon Herne the Hunter; and as all had heard
more or less about him, and some had seen him, while few knew the legend
connected with him, Hector Cutbeard volunteered to relate it; upon which all
the party gathered closer together, and Mabel and Deborah left off talking,
and drew near to listen.