The Rosary
Chapter VII
Garth Finds His Rosary
Jane spent but a very few minutes in the drawing-room that evening. The fun
in progress there was not to her taste, and the praises heaped upon herself
annoyed her. Also she wanted the quiet of her own room in order to think over
that closing episode of the concert, which had taken place between herself and
Garth, behind the scenes. She did not feel certain how to take it. She was
conscious that it held an element which she could not fathom, and Garth's last
act had awakened in herself feelings which she did not understand. She extremely
disliked the way in which he had kissed her hands; and yet he had put into the
action such a passion of reverent worship that it gave her a sense of
consecration — of being, as it were, set apart to minister always to the hearts
of men in that perfect gift of melody which should uplift and ennoble. She could
not lose the sensation of the impress of his lips upon the palms of her hands.
It was as if he had left behind something tangible and abiding. She caught
herself looking at them anxiously once or twice, and the third time this
happened she determined to go to her room.
The duchess was at the piano, completely hidden from view by nearly the whole
of her house party, crowding round in fits of delighted laughter. Ronnie had
just broken through from the inmost circle to fetch an antimacassar; and Billy,
to dash to the writing-table for a sheet of note-paper. Jane knew the note-paper
meant a clerical dog collar, and she concluded something had been worn which
resembled an antimacassar.
She turned rather wearily and moved towards the door. Quiet and unobserved
though her retreat had been, Garth was at the door before her. She did not know
how he got there; for, as she turned to leave the room, she had seen his sleek
head close to Myra Ingleby's on the further side of the duchess's crowd. He
opened the door and Jane passed out. She felt equally desirous of saying two
things to him, — either: "How dared you behave in so unconventional a way?" or:
"Tell me just what you want me to do, and I will do it."
She said neither.
Garth followed her into the hall, lighted a candle, and threw the match at
Tommy; then handed her the silver candlestick. He was looking absurdly happy.
Jane felt annoyed with him for parading this gladness, which she had unwittingly
caused and in which she had no share. Also she felt she must break this intimate
silence. It was saying so much which ought not to be said, since it could not be
spoken. She took her candle rather aggressively and turned upon the second step.
"Good-night, Dal," she said. "And do you know that you are missing the
curate?"
He looked up at her. His eyes shone in the light of her candle.
"No," he said. "I am neither missing nor missed. I was only waiting in there
until you went up. I shall not go back. I am going out into the park now to
breathe in the refreshing coolness of the night breeze. And I am going to stand
under the oaks and tell my beads. I did not know I had a rosary, until to-night,
but I have — I have!"
"I should say you have a dozen," remarked Jane, dryly.
"Then you would be wrong," replied Garth. "I have just one. But it has many
hours. I shall be able to call them all to mind when I get out there alone. I am
going to 'count each pearl.'"
"How about the cross?" asked Jane.
"I have not reached that yet," answered Garth. "There is no cross to my
rosary."
"I fear there is a cross to every true rosary, Dal," said Jane gently, "and I
also fear it will go hard with you when you find yours."
But Garth was confident and unafraid.
"When I find mine," he said, "I hope I shall be able to" — Involuntarily
Jane looked at her hands. He saw the look and smiled, though he had the grace to
colour beneath his tan, — "to FACE the cross," he said.
Jane turned and began to mount the stairs; but Garth arrested her with an
eager question.
"Just one moment, Miss Champion! There is something I want to ask you. May I?
Will you think me impertinent, presuming, inquisitive?"
"I have no doubt I shall," said Jane. "But I am thinking you all sorts of
unusual things to-night; so three adjectives more or less will not matter much.
You may ask."
"Miss Champion, have YOU a rosary?"
Jane looked at him blankly; then suddenly understood the drift of his
question.
"My dear boy, NO!" she said. "Thank goodness, I have kept clear of 'memories
that bless and burn.' None of these things enter into my rational and
well-ordered life, and I have no wish that they should."
"Then," deliberated Garth, "how came you to sing THE ROSARY as if each line
were your own experience; each joy or pain a thing — long passed, perhaps —
but your own?"
"Because," explained Jane, "I always live in a song when I sing it. Did I not
tell you the lesson I learned over the CHANT HINDOU? Therefore I had a rosary
undoubtedly when I was singing that song to-night. But, apart from that, in the
sense you mean, no, thank goodness, I have none."
Garth mounted two steps, bringing his eyes on a level with the candlestick.
"But IF you cared," he said, speaking very low, "that is how you would care?
that is as you would feel?"
Jane considered. "Yes," she said, "IF I cared, I suppose I should care just
so, and feel as I felt during those few minutes."
"Then it was YOU in the song, although the circumstances are not yours?"
"Yes, I suppose so," Jane replied, "if we can consider ourselves apart from
our circumstances. But surely this is rather an unprofitable 'air-ball.'
Goodnight, 'Master Garthie!'"
"I say, Miss Champion! Just one thing more. Will you sing for me to- morrow?
Will you come to the music-room and sing all the lovely things I want to hear?
And will you let me play a few of your accompaniments? Ah, promise you will
come. And promise to sing whatever I ask, and I won't bother you any more now."
He stood looking up at her, waiting for her promise, with such adoration
shining in his eyes that Jane was startled and more than a little troubled. Then
suddenly it seemed to her that she had found the key, and she hastened to
explain it to herself and to him.
"Oh, you dear boy!" she said. "What an artist you are! And how difficult it
is for us commonplace, matter-of-fact people to understand the artistic
temperament. Here you go, almost turning my steady old head by your rapture over
what seemed to you perfection of sound which has reached you through the ear;
just as, again and again, you worship at the shrine of perfection of form, which
reaches you through the eye. I begin to understand how it is you turn the heads
of women when you paint them. However, you are very delightful in your delight,
and I want to go up to bed. So I promise to sing all you want and as much as you
wish to-morrow. Now keep your promise and don't bother me any more to-night.
Don't spend the whole night in the park, and try not to frighten the deer. No, I
do not need any assistance with my candle, and I am quite used to going upstairs
by myself, thank you. Can't you hear what personal and appropriate remarks Tommy
is making down there? Now do run away, Master Garthie, and count your pearls.
And if you suddenly come upon a cross — remember, the cross can, in all
probability, be persuaded to return to Chicago!"
Jane was still smiling as she entered her room and placed her candlestick on
the dressing-table.
Overdene was lighted solely by lamps and candles. The duchess refused to
modernise it by the installation of electric light. But candles abounded, and
Jane, who liked a brilliant illumination, proceeded to light both candles in the
branches on either side of the dressing-table mirror, and in the sconces on the
wall beside the mantelpiece, and in the tall silver candlesticks upon the
writing- table. Then she seated herself in a comfortable arm-chair, reached for
her writing-case, took out her diary and a fountain pen, and prepared to finish
the day's entry. She wrote, "SANG 'THE ROSARY' AT AUNT 'GINA'S CONCERT IN PLACE
OF VELMA, FAILED (LARYNGITIS)," and came to a full stop.
Somehow the scene with Garth was difficult to record, and the sensations
which still remained therefrom, absolutely unwritable. Jane sat and pondered the
situation, content to allow the page to remain blank.
Before she rose, locked her book, and prepared for rest, she had, to her own
satisfaction, clearly explained the whole thing. Garth's artistic temperament
was the basis of the argument; and, alas, the artistic temperament is not a very
firm foundation, either for a theory, or for the fabric of a destiny. However,
FAUTE DE MIEUX, Jane had to accept it as main factor in her mental adjustment,
thus: This vibrant emotion in Garth, so strangely disturbing to her own solid
calm, was in no sense personal to herself, excepting in so far as her voice and
musical gifts were concerned. Just as the sight of paintable beauty crazed him
with delight, making him wild with alternate hope and despair until he obtained
his wish and had his canvas and his sitter arranged to his liking; so now, his
passion for the beautiful had been awakened, this time through the medium, not
of sight, but of sound. When she had given him his fill of song, and allowed him
to play some of her accompaniments, he would be content, and that disquieting
look of adoration would pass from those beautiful brown eyes. Meanwhile it was
pleasant to look forward to to-morrow, though it behooved her to remember that
all this admiration had in it nothing personal to herself. He would have gone
into even greater raptures over Madame Blanche, for instance, who had the same
timbre of voice and method of singing, combined with a beauty of person which
delighted the eye the while her voice enchanted the ear. Certainly Garth must
see and hear her, as music appeared to mean so much to him. Jane began planning
this, and then her mind turned to Pauline Lister, the lovely American girl,
whose name had been coupled with Garth Dalmain's all the season. Jane felt
certain she was just the wife he needed. Her loveliness would content him, her
shrewd common-sense and straightforward, practical ways would counterbalance his
somewhat erratic temperament, and her adaptability would enable her to suit
herself to his surroundings, both in his northern home and amongst his large
circle of friends down south. Once married, he would give up raving about Flower
and Myra, and kissing people's hands in that- -"absurd way," Jane was going to
say, but she was invariably truthful, even in her thoughts, and substituted
"extraordinary" as the more correct adjective — in that extraordinary way.
She sat forward in her chair with her elbows on her knees, and held her large
hands before her, palms upward, realising again the sensations of that moment.
Then she pulled herself up sharply. "Jane Champion, don't be a fool! You would
wrong that dear, beauty-loving boy, more than you would wrong yourself, if you
took him for one moment seriously. His homage to-night was no more personal to
you than his appreciation of the excellent dinner was personal to Aunt
Georgina's chef. In his enjoyment of the production, the producer was included;
but that was all. Be gratified at the success of your art, and do not spoil that
success by any absurd sentimentality. Now wash your very ungainly hands and go
to bed." Thus Jane to herself.
* * * * * * *
And under the oaks, with soft turf beneath his feet, stood Garth Dalmain, the
shy deer sleeping around unconscious of his presence; the planets above, hanging
like lamps in the deep purple of the sky. And he, also, soliloquised.
"I have found her," he said, in low tones of rapture, "the ideal woman, the
crown of womanhood, the perfect mate for the spirit, soul, and body of the man
who can win her. — Jane! Jane! Ah, how blind I have been! To have known her for
years, and yet not realised her to be this. But she lifted the veil, and I
passed in. Ah grand, noble heart! She will never be able to draw the veil again
between her soul and mine. And she has no rosary. I thank God for that. No other
man possesses, or has ever possessed, that which I desire more than I ever
desired anything upon this earth, Jane's love, Jane's tenderness. Ah, what will
it mean? 'I count each pearl.' She WILL count them some day — her pearls and
mine. God spare us the cross. Must there be a cross to every true rosary? Then
God give me the heavy end, and may the mutual bearing of it bind us together.
Ah, those dear hands! Ah, those true steadfast eyes! . . . Jane! — Jane! Surely
it has always been Jane, though I did not know it, blind fool that I have been!
But one thing I know: whereas I was blind, now I see. And it will always be Jane
from this night onward through time and-please God — into eternity."
The night breeze stirred his thick dark hair, and his eyes, as he raised
them, shone in the starlight.
* * * * * * *
And Jane, almost asleep, was roused by the tapping of her blind against the
casement, and murmured "Anything you wish, Garth, just tell me, and I will do
it." Then awakening suddenly to the consciousness of what she had said, she sat
up in the darkness and scolded herself furiously. "Oh, you middle-aged donkey!
You call yourself staid and sensible, and a little flattery from a boy of whom
you are fond turns your head completely. Come to your senses at once; or leave
Overdene by the first train in the morning."