CHAPTER IX
A TRYST AT BOWLING GREEN GATE
I was at a loss what course to pursue, and I remained for a
moment in puzzling thought. I went back to Madge, and after closing
the door, told her of all I had seen. She could not advise me, and
of course she was deeply troubled and concerned. After
deliberating, I determined to speak to Aunt Dorothy that she might
know what had happened. So I opened the door and walked into Lady
Crawford's presence. After viewing my lady's back for a short time,
I said:—
"I cannot find my hat, cloak, and sword. I left them in
Dorothy's bedroom. Has any one been here since I entered?"
The old lady turned quickly upon me, "Since you entered?" she
cried in wonderment and consternation. "Since you left, you mean.
Did you not leave this room a few minutes ago? What means this? How
found you entrance without the key?"
"I did not leave this room, Aunt Dorothy; you see I am here," I
responded.
"Who did leave? Your wraith? Some one—Dorothy!" screamed
the old lady in terror. "That girl!!—Holy Virgin! where is
she?"
Lady Crawford hastened to Dorothy's room and returned to me in
great agitation.
"Were you in the plot?" she demanded angrily.
"No more than were you,
Lady Crawford," I replied, telling the exact truth. If I were
accessory to Dorothy's crime, it was only as a witness and Aunt
Dorothy had seen as much as I.
I continued: "Dorothy left Lady Madge and me at the window,
saying she wished to make a change in her garments. I was watching
the sunset and talking with Lady Madge."
Lady Crawford, being full of concern about the main
event,—Dorothy's escape,—was easily satisfied that I
was not accessory before the fact.
"What shall I do, Malcolm? What shall I do? Help me, quickly. My
brother will return in the morning—perhaps he will return
to-night—and he will not believe that I have not
intentionally permitted Dorothy to leave the Hall. I have of late
said so much to him on behalf of the girl that he suspects me
already of being in sympathy with her. He will not believe me when
I tell him that I have been duped. The ungrateful, selfish girl!
How could she so unkindly return my affection!"
The old lady began to weep.
I did not believe that Dorothy intended to leave Haddon Hall
permanently. I felt confident she had gone out only to meet John,
and was sure she would soon return. On the strength of that opinion
I said: "If you fear that Sir George will not believe you—he
certainly will blame you—would it not be better to admit
Dorothy quietly when she returns and say nothing to any one
concerning the escapade? I will remain here in these rooms, and
when she returns I will depart, and the guards will never suspect
that Dorothy has left the Hall."
"If she will but return," wailed Aunt Dorothy, "I shall be only
too glad to admit her and to keep silent."
"I am sure she will," I answered. "Leave orders with the guard
at Sir George's door to admit me at any time during the night, and Dorothy will come in without
being recognized. Her disguise must be very complete if she could
deceive you."
"Indeed, her disguise is complete," replied the tearful old
lady.
Dorothy's disguise was so complete and her resemblance to me had
been so well contrived that she met with no opposition from the
guards in the retainer's room nor from the porter. She walked out
upon the terrace where she strolled for a short time. Then she
climbed over the wall at the stile back of the terrace and took her
way up Bowling Green Hill toward the gate. She sauntered leisurely
until she was out of sight of the Hall. Then gathering up her cloak
and sword she sped along the steep path to the hill crest and
thence to the gate.
Soon after the first day of her imprisonment she had sent a
letter to John by the hand of Jennie Faxton, acquainting him with
the details of all that had happened. In her letter, among much
else, she said:—
"My true love, I beg you to haunt with your presence Bowling
Green Gate each day at the hour of sunset. I cannot tell you when I
shall be there to meet you, or surely I would do so now. But be
there I will. Let no doubt of that disturb your mind. It does not
lie in the power of man to keep me from you. That is, it lies in
the power of but one man, you, my love and my lord, and I fear not
that you will use your power to that end. So it is that I beg you
to wait for me at sunset hour each day near by Bowling Green Gate.
You may be caused to wait for me a long weary time; but one day,
sooner or later, I shall go to you, and then—ah, then, if it
be in my power to reward your patience, you shall have no cause for
complaint."
When Dorothy reached the gate she found it securely locked. She
peered eagerly through the bars, hoping to see John. She tried to shake the heavy iron
structure to assure herself that it could not be opened.
"Ah, well," she sighed, "I suppose the reason love laughs at
locksmiths is because he—or she—can climb."
Then she climbed the gate and sprang to the ground on the
Devonshire side of the wall.
"What will John think when he sees me in this attire?" she said
half aloud. "Malcolm's cloak serves but poorly to cover me, and I
shall instead be covered with shame and confusion when John comes.
I fear he will think I have disgraced myself." Then, with a sigh,
"But necessity knows no raiment."
She strode about near the gate for a few minutes, wishing that
she were indeed a man, save for one fact: if she were not a woman,
John would not love her, and, above all, she could not love John.
The fact that she could and did love John appealed to Dorothy as
the highest, sweetest privilege that Heaven or earth could offer to
a human being.
The sun had sunk in the west, and his faint parting glory was
but dimly to be seen upon a few small clouds that floated above
Overhaddon Hill. The moon was past its half; and the stars, still
yellow and pale from the lingering glare of day, waited eagerly to
give their twinkling help in lighting the night. The forest near
the gate was dense, and withal the fading light of the sun and the
dawning beams of the moon and stars, deep shadow enveloped Dorothy
and all the scene about her. The girl was disappointed when she did
not see Manners, but she was not vexed. There was but one person in
all the world toward whom she held a patient, humble
attitude—John. If he, in his greatness, goodness, and
condescension, deigned to come and meet so poor a person as Dorothy
Vernon, she would be thankful and happy; if he did not come, she
would be sorrowful. His will was her will, and she would come again and again until she should
find him waiting for her, and he should stoop to lift her into
heaven.
If there is a place in all the earth where red warm blood counts
for its full value, it is in a pure woman's veins. Through
self-fear it brings to her a proud reserve toward all mankind till
the right one comes. Toward him it brings an eager humbleness that
is the essence and the life of Heaven and of love. Poets may praise
snowy women as they will, but the compelling woman is she of the
warm blood. The snowy woman is the lifeless seed, the rainless
cloud, the unmagnetic lodestone, the drossful iron. The great laws
of nature affect her but passively. If there is aught in the saying
of the ancients, "The best only in nature can survive," the day of
her extermination will come. Fire is as chaste as snow, and
infinitely more comforting.
Dorothy's patience was not to be tried for long. Five minutes
after she had climbed the gate she beheld John riding toward her
from the direction of Rowsley, and her heart beat with thrill upon
thrill of joy. She felt that the crowning moment of her life was at
hand. By the help of a subtle sense—familiar spirit to her
love perhaps—she knew that John would ask her to go with him
and to be his wife, despite all the Rutlands and Vernons dead,
living, or to be born. The thought of refusing him never entered
her mind. Queen Nature was on the throne in the fulness of power,
and Dorothy, in perfect attune with her great sovereign, was
fulfilling her destiny in accordance with the laws to which her
drossless being was entirely amenable.
Many times had the fear come to her that Sir John Manners, who
was heir to the great earldom of Rutland,—he who was so
great, so good, and so beautiful,—might feel that his duty to
his house past, present, and future, and the obligations of his
position among the grand nobles of the realm, should deter him from a marriage
against which so many good reasons could be urged. But this evening
her familiar spirit whispered to her that she need not fear, and
her heart was filled with joy and certainty. John dismounted and
tethered his horse at a short distance from the gate. He approached
Dorothy, but halted when he beheld a man instead of the girl whom
he longed to meet. His hesitancy surprised Dorothy, who, in her
eagerness, had forgotten her male attire. She soon saw, however,
that he did not recognize her, and she determined, in a spirit of
mischief, to maintain her incognito till he should penetrate her
disguise.
She turned her back on John and sauntered leisurely about,
whistling softly. She pretended to be unconscious of his presence,
and John, who felt that the field was his by the divine right of
love, walked to the gate and looked through the bars toward Bowling
Green. He stood at the gate for a short time with indifference in
his manner and irritation in his heart. He, too, tried to hum a
tune, but failed. Then he tried to whistle, but his musical efforts
were abortive. There was no music in him. A moment before his heart
had been full of harmony; but when he found a man instead of his
sweetheart, the harmony quickly turned to rasping discord.
John was not a patient man, and his impatience was apt to take
the form of words and actions. A little aimless stalking about at
the gate was more than enough for him, so he stepped toward the
intruder and lifted his hat.
"I beg your pardon," he said, "I thought when first I saw you
that you were Sir Malcolm Vernon. I fancied you bore resemblance to
him. I see that I was in error."
"Yes, in error," answered my beard.
Again the two gentlemen walked around each other with great
amusement on the part of one, and with ever increasing vexation on
the part of the other.
Soon John said, "May I ask
whom have I the honor to address?"
"Certainly, you may ask," was the response.
A silence ensued during which Dorothy again turned her back on
John and walked a few paces away from him. John's patience was
rapidly oozing, and when the unknown intruder again turned in his
direction, John said with all the gentleness then at his
command:—
"Well, sir, I do ask."
"Your curiosity is flattering," said the girl.
"Pardon me, sir," returned John. "My curiosity is not intended
to be flattering. I—"
"I hope it is not intended to be insulting, sir?" asked my hat
and cloak.
"That, sir, all depends upon yourself," retorted John, warmly.
Then after an instant of thought, he continued in tones of
conciliation:—
"I have an engagement of a private nature at this place. In
short, I hope to meet a—a friend here within a few minutes
and I feel sure that under the circumstances so gallant a gentleman
as yourself will act with due consideration for the feelings of
another. I hope and believe that you will do as you would be done
by."
"Certainly, certainly," responded the gallant. "I find no fault
at all with your presence. Please take no account whatever of me. I
assure you I shall not be in the least disturbed."
John was somewhat disconcerted.
"Perhaps you will not be disturbed," replied John, struggling to
keep down his temper, "but I fear you do not understand me. I hope
to meet a—a lady and—"
"I hope also to meet a—a friend," the fellow said; "but I
assure you we shall in no way conflict."
"May I ask," queried John, "if you expect to meet a gentleman or
a lady?"
"Certainly you may ask,"
was the girl's irritating reply.
"Well, well, sir, I do ask," said John. "Furthermore, I demand
to know whom you expect to meet at this place."
"That, of course, sir, is no business of yours."
"But I shall make it my affair. I expect to meet a lady here, my
sweetheart." The girl's heart jumped with joy. "And if you have any
of the feelings of a gentleman, you must know that your presence
will be intolerable to me."
"Perhaps it will be, my dear sir, but I have as good a right
here as you or any other. If you must know all about my affairs, I
tell you I, too, hope to meet my sweetheart at this place. In fact,
I know I shall meet my sweetheart, and, my good fellow, I beg to
inform you that a stranger's presence would be very annoying to
me."
John was at his wit's end. He must quickly do or say something
to persuade this stubborn fellow to leave. If Dorothy should come
and see two persons at the gate she, of course, would return to the
Hall. Jennie Faxton, who knew that the garments were finished, had
told Sir John that he might reasonably expect to see Dorothy at the
gate on that evening, for Sir George had gone to Derby-town,
presumably to remain over night.
In sheer desperation John said, "I was here first, and I claim
the ground."
"That is not true," replied the other. "I have been waiting here
for you—I mean for the person I am to meet—" Dorothy
thought she had betrayed herself, and that John would surely
recognize her. "I had been waiting full five minutes before you
arrived."
John's blindness in failing to recognize Dorothy is past my
understanding. He explained it to me afterward by saying that his
eagerness to see Dorothy, and his fear, nay almost certainty, that
she could not come, coupled with the hope which Jennie Faxton had
given him, had so completely occupied his mind that other subjects received but
slight consideration.
"But I—I have been here before this night to
meet—"
"And I have been here to meet—quite as often as you, I
hope," retorted Dorothy.
They say that love blinds a man. It must also have deafened
John, since he did not recognize his sweetheart's voice.
"It may be true that you have been here before this evening,"
retorted John, angrily; "but you shall not remain here now. If you
wish to save yourself trouble, leave at once. If you stalk about in
the forest, I will run you through and leave you for the crows to
pick."
"I have no intention of leaving, and if I were to do so you
would regret it; by my beard, you would regret it," answered the
girl, pleased to see John in his overbearing, commanding mood. His
stupidity was past comprehension.
"Defend yourself," said John, drawing his sword.
"Now he will surely know the truth," thought Dorothy, but she
said: "I am much younger than you, and am not so large and strong.
I am unskilled in the use of a sword, and therefore am I no match
for Sir John Manners than whom, I have heard, there is no better
swordsman, stronger arm, nor braver heart in England."
"You flatter me, my friend," returned John, forced into a good
humor against his will; "but you must leave. He who cannot defend
himself must yield; it is the law of nature and of men."
John advanced toward Dorothy, who retreated stepping backward,
holding her arm over her face.
"I am ready to yield if you wish. In fact, I am eager to
yield—more eager than you can know," she cried.
"It is well," answered John, putting his sword in sheath.
"But," continued Dorothy, "I will not go away."
"Then you must fight," said John.
"I tell you again I am
willing, nay, eager to yield to you, but I also tell you I cannot
fight in the way you would have me. In other ways perhaps I can
fight quite as well as anybody. But really, I am ashamed to draw my
sword, since to do so would show you how poorly I am equipped to
defend myself under your great laws of nature and of man. Again, I
wish to assure you that I am more than eager to yield; but I cannot
fight you, and I will not go away."
The wonder never ceases that John did not recognize her. She
took no pains to hide her identity, and after a few moments of
concealment she was anxious that John should discover her under my
garments.
"I would know his voice," she thought, "did he wear all the
petticoats in Derbyshire."
"What shall I do with you?" cried John, amused and irritated. "I
cannot strike you."
"No, of course you would not murder me in cold blood," answered
Dorothy, laughing heartily. She was sure her laughter would open
John's eyes.
"I cannot carry you away," said John.
"I would come back again, if you did," answered the
irrepressible fellow.
"I suppose you would," returned John, sullenly. "In the devil's
name, tell me what you will do. Can I not beg you to go?"
"Now, Sir John, you have touched me. I make you this offer: you
expect Mistress Vernon to come from the Hall—"
"What do you know about Mistress Vernon?" cried John. "By God, I
will—"
"Now don't grow angry, Sir John, and please don't swear in my
presence. You expect her, I say, to come from the Hall. What I
propose is this: you shall stand by the gate and watch for
Doll—oh, I mean Mistress
Vernon—and I will stand here behind the wall where she cannot
see me. When she comes in sight—though in truth I don't think
she will come, and I believe were she under your very nose you
would not see her—you shall tell me and I will leave at once;
that is, if you wish me to leave. After you see Dorothy Vernon if
you still wish me to go, I pledge my faith no power can keep me.
Now is not that fair? I like you very much, and I want to remain
here, if you will permit me, and talk to you for a little
time—till you see Doll Vernon."
"Doll Vernon, fellow? How dare you so speak of her?" demanded
John, hotly.
"Your pardon and her pardon, I beg; Mistress Vernon, soon to be
Countess of Derbyshire. By the way, I wager you a gold pound
sterling that by the time you see Doll Vernon—Mistress
Vernon, I pray your pardon—you will have grown so fond of me
that you will not permit me to leave you." She thought after that
speech he could not help but know her; but John's skull was like an
oaken board that night. Nothing could penetrate it. He began to
fancy that his companion was a simple witless person who had
escaped from his keepers.
"Will you take the wager?" asked Dorothy.
"Nonsense!" was the only reply John deigned to give to so
foolish a proposition.
"Then will you agree that I shall remain at the gate till
Doll—Mistress Vernon comes?"
"I suppose I shall have to make the best terms possible with
you," he returned. "You are an amusing fellow and as perverse as a
woman."
"I knew you would soon learn to like me," she responded. "The
first step toward a man's affection is to amuse him. That old saw
which says the road to a man's heart is through his stomach, is a
sad mistake. Amusement is the highway to a man's affections."
"It is better that one
laugh with us than at us. There is a vast difference in the two
methods," answered John, contemptuously.
"You dare to laugh at me," cried Dorothy, grasping the hilt of
her sword, and pretending to be angry. John waved her off with his
hand, and laughingly said, "Little you know concerning the way to a
man's heart, and no doubt less of the way to a woman's."
"I, perhaps, know more about it than you would believe,"
returned Malcolm No. 2.
"If you know aught of the latter subject, it is more than I
would suppose," said John. "It is absurd to say that a woman can
love a man who is unable to defend himself."
"A vain man thinks that women care only for men of his own
pattern," retorted Dorothy. "Women love a strong arm, it is true,
but they also love a strong heart, and you see I am not at all
afraid of you, even though you have twice my strength. There are as
many sorts of bravery, Sir John, as—as there are hairs in my
beard."
"That is not many," interrupted John.
"And," continued the girl, "I believe, John,—Sir
John,—you possess all the kinds of bravery that are
good."
"You flatter me," said John.
"Yes," returned Dorothy, "that was my intent."
After that unflattering remark there came a pause. Then the girl
continued somewhat hesitatingly: "Doubtless many women, Sir John,
have seen your virtues more clearly than even I see them. Women
have a keener perception of masculine virtues than—than we
have."
Dorothy paused, and her heart beat with a quickened throb while
she awaited his reply. A new field of discovery was opening up to
her and a new use for her disguise.
John made no reply, but the persistent girl pursued her new line
of attack.
"Surely Sir John Manners
has had many sweethearts," said Dorothy, in flattering tones. There
were rocks and shoals ahead for John's love barge. "Many, many, I
am sure," the girl persisted.
"Ah, a few, a few, I admit," John like a fool replied. Dorothy
was accumulating disagreeable information rapidly.
"While you were at London court," said she, "the fine ladies
must have sought you in great numbers—I am sure they
did."
"Perhaps, oh, perhaps," returned John. "One cannot always
remember such affairs." His craft was headed for the rocks. Had he
observed Dorothy's face, he would have seen the storm
a-brewing.
"To how many women, Sir John, have you lost your heart, and at
various times how many have lost their hearts to you?" asked the
persistent girl.—"What a senseless question," returned John.
"A dozen times or more; perhaps a score or two score times. I
cannot tell the exact number. I did not keep an account."
Dorothy did not know whether she wanted to weep or be angry.
Pique and a flash of temper, however, saved her from tears, and she
said, "You are so brave and handsome that you must have found it a
very easy task—much easier than it would be for me—to
convince those confiding ones of your affection?"
"Yes," replied John, plunging full sail upon the breakers, "I
admit that usually they have been quite easy to convince. I am
naturally bold, and I suppose that perhaps—that is, I may
possibly have a persuasive trick about me."
Shades of good men who have blundered into ruin over the path of
petty vanity, save this man! But no, Dorothy must drink the bitter
cup of knowledge to the dregs.
"And you have been false to all of these women? she said.
"Ah, well, you
know—the devil take it! A man can't be true to a score of
women," replied John.
"I am sure none of them wished you to be true," the girl
answered, restraining her tears with great difficulty.
At that point in the conversation John began to suspect from the
manner and shapeliness of his companion that a woman had disguised
herself in man's attire. Yet it did not once occur to him that
Dorothy's fair form was concealed within the disguise. He attempted
to lift my soft beaver hat, the broad rim of which hid Dorothy's
face, but to that she made a decided objection, and John continued:
"By my soul I believe you are a woman. Your walk"—Dorothy
thought she had been swaggering like a veritable
swash-buckler—"your voice, the curves of your form, all
betray you." Dorothy gathered the cloak closely about her.
"I would know more of you," said John, and he stepped toward the
now interesting stranger. But she drew away from him, and told him
to keep hands off.
"Oh, I am right. You are a woman," said John.
Dorothy had maintained the disguise longer than she wished, and
was willing that John should discover her identity. At first it had
been rare sport to dupe him; but the latter part of her
conversation had given her no pleasure. She was angry, jealous, and
hurt by what she had learned.
"Yes," she answered, "I admit that I am a—a woman. Now I
must go."
"Stay but one moment," pleaded John, whose curiosity and
gallantry were aroused. "I will watch for Mistress Vernon, and when
she appears, then you may go."
"I told you that you would want me to remain," said the girl
with a sigh. She was almost ready to weep. Then she thought: "I
little dreamed I was coming here for this. I will carry the
disguise a little farther, and will, perhaps, learn enough
to—to break my heart."
She was soon to learn all
she wanted to know and a great deal more.
"Come sit by me on this stone," said John, coaxingly. The girl
complied, and drew the cloak over her knees.
"Tell me why you are here," he asked.
"To meet a gentleman," she replied, with low-bent face.
"Tell me your name," John asked, as he drew my glove from her
passive hand. John held the hand in his, and after examining it in
the dim light saw that it was a great deal more than good to look
upon. Then he lifted it to his lips and said:
"Since our sweethearts have disappointed us, may we not console
ourselves with each other?" He placed his arm around the girl's
waist and drew her yielding form toward him. Dorothy, unobserved by
John, removed the false beard and moustachio, and when John put his
arm about her waist and leaned forward to kiss the fair
accommodating neighbor she could restrain her tears no longer and
said:—
"That would be no consolation for me, John; that would be no
consolation for me. How can you? How can you?"
She rose to her feet and covered her face with her hands in a
paroxysm of weeping. John, too, sprang to his feet, you may be
sure. "Dorothy! God help me! I am the king of fools. Curse this
hour in which I have thrown away my heaven. You must hate and
despise me, fool, fool that I am."
John knew that it were worse than useless for him to attempt an
explanation. The first thought that flashed through his mind was,
to tell the girl that he had only pretended not to know her. He
thought he would try to make her believe that he had been turning
her trick upon herself; but he was wise in his day and generation,
and did not seek refuge in that falsehood.
The girl would never have
forgiven him for that.
"The only amends I can make," he said, in very dolefulness, "is
that I may never let you see my face again."
"That will not help matters," sobbed Dorothy.
"I know it will not," returned John. "Nothing can help me. I can
remain here no longer. I must leave you. I cannot even ask you to
say farewell. Mistress Vernon, you do not despise me half so
bitterly as I despise myself."
Dorothy was one of those rare natures to whom love comes but
once. It had come to her and had engulfed her whole being. To part
with it would be like parting with life itself. It was her tyrant,
her master. It was her ego. She could no more throw it off than she
could expel herself from her own existence. All this she knew full
well, for she had analyzed her conditions, and her reason had
joined with all her other faculties in giving her a clear concept
of the truth. She knew she belonged to John Manners for life and
for eternity. She also knew that the chance of seeing him soon
again was very slight, and to part from him now in aught but
kindness would almost kill her.
Before John had recognized Dorothy he certainly had acted like a
fool, but with the shock of recognition came wisdom. All the
learning of the ancients and all the cunning of the prince of
darkness could not have taught him a wiser word with which to make
his peace, "I may never let you see my face again." That was more
to be feared by Dorothy than even John's inconstancy.
Her heart was full of trouble. "I do not know what I wish," she
said simply. "Give me a little time to think."
John's heart leaped with joy, but he remained silent.
Dorothy continued: "Oh, that I had remained at home. I would to
God I had never seen Derby-town nor you."
John in the fulness of his wisdom did not interrupt her.
"To think that I have thus
made a fool of myself about a man who has given his heart to a
score of women."
"This is torture," moaned John, in real pain.
"But," continued Dorothy, "I could not remain away from this
place when I had the opportunity to come to you. I felt that I must
come. I felt that I should die if I did not. And you are so false.
I wish I were dead. A moment ago, had I been another woman, you
would have kissed her. You thought I was another woman."
John's wisdom stood by him nobly. He knew he could neither
explain successfully nor beg forgiveness. He simply said: "I cannot
remain and look you in the face. If I dare make any request, it is
that despite all you have heard from my lips you will still believe
that I love you, and that in all my life I have never loved any one
so dearly. There is no other woman for me."
"You doubtless spoke the same false words to the other two score
women," said Dorothy. Tears and sobs were playing sad havoc with
her powers of speech.
"Farewell, Mistress Vernon," replied John. "I should be
shameless if I dared ask you to believe any word I can utter.
Forget, if possible, that I ever existed; forget me that you may
not despise me. I am unworthy to dwell even in the smallest of your
thoughts. I am altogether base and contemptible."
"N-o-o," sighed Dorothy, poutingly, while she bent low her head
and toyed with the gold lace of my cloak.
"Farewell," said John. He took a step or two backward from
her.
"You are over-eager to leave, it seems to me," said the girl in
an injured tone. "I wonder that you came at all." John's heart was
singing hosanna. He, however, maintained his voice at a mournful
pitch and said: "I must go. I can no longer endure to remain."
While he spoke he moved toward his horse, and his head was bowed
with real shame as he thought
of the pitiable fool he had made of himself. Dorothy saw him going
from her, and she called to him softly and reluctantly, "John."
He did not hear her, or perhaps he thought best to pretend that
he did not hear, and as he moved from her the girl became
desperate. Modesty, resentment, insulted womanhood and injured
pride were all swept away by the stream of her mighty love, and she
cried again, this time without hesitancy or reluctance, "John,
John." She started to run toward him, but my cloak was in her way,
and the sword tripped her feet. In her fear lest John might leave
her, she unclasped the sword-belt from her waist and snatched the
cloak from her shoulders. Freed from these hindrances, she ran
toward John.
"John, do not leave me. Do not leave me." As she spoke, she
reached an open space among the trees and John turned toward her.
Her hat had fallen off, and the red golden threads of her hair,
freed from their fastenings, streamed behind her. Never before had
a vision of such exquisite loveliness sped through the moonbeams.
So entrancing was her beauty to John that he stood motionless in
admiration. He did not go to meet her as he should have done, and
perhaps as he would have done had his senses not been wrapped in
benumbing wonderment. His eyes were unable to interpret to his
brain all her marvellous beauty, and his other senses abandoning
their proper functions had hastened to the assistance of his sight
He saw, he heard, he felt her loveliness. Thus occupied he did not
move, so Dorothy ran to him and fell upon his breast.
"You did not come to meet me," she sobbed. "You made me come all
the way, to forgive you. Cruel, cruel!"
John held the girl in his arms, but he did not dare to kiss her,
and his self-denial soon brought its reward. He had not expected
that she would come a beggar to him. The most he had dared to hope was that she would
listen to his prayer for forgiveness. With all his worldly wisdom
John had not learned the fact that inconstancy does not destroy
love in the one who suffers by reason of it; nor did he know of the
exquisite pain-touched happiness which comes to a gentle,
passionate heart such as Dorothy's from the mere act of
forgiving.
"Is it possible you can forgive me for the miserable lies I have
uttered?" asked John, almost unconscious of the words he was
speaking. "Is it possible you can forgive me for uttering those
lies, Dorothy?" he repeated.
She laid her head upon his breast, and softly passing her hand
over the lace of his doublet, whispered:—
"If I could believe they were lies, I could easily forgive you,"
she answered between low sobs and soft sighs. Though she was a
woman, the sweet essence of childhood was in her heart.
"But you cannot believe me, even when I tell you that I spoke
not the truth," answered John, with growing faith in his system of
passive repentance. Again came the sighs, and a few struggling,
childish sobs.
"It is easy for us to believe that which we long to believe,"
she said. Then she turned her face upward to him, and John's reward
was altogether disproportioned to the self-denial he had exercised
a few minutes before. She rewarded him far beyond his deserts; and
after a pause she said mischievously:—
"You told me that you were a bold man with women, and I know
that at least that part of what you said was untrue, for you are a
bashful man, John, you are downright bashful. It is I who have been
bold. You were too timid to woo me, and I so longed for you that
I—I—was not timid."
"For God's sake, Dorothy, I beg you to have pity and to make no
jest of me. Your kindness almost kills me, and your
ridicule—"
"There, there, John,"
whispered the girl, "I will never again make a jest of you if it
gives you pain. Tell me, John, tell me truly, was it all
false—that which you told me about the other women?"
There had been more truth in John's bragging than he cared to
confess. He feared and loathed a lie; so he said evasively, but
with perfect truth:—
"You must know, my goddess. If you do not know without the
telling that I love you with all my being; if you do not know that
there is for me and ever will be no woman but you in all the world;
if you do not know that you have stolen my soul and that I live
only in your presence, all that I can say will avail nothing toward
convincing you. I am almost crazed with love for you, and with pain
and torture. For the love of God let me leave you that I may hide
my face."
"Never," cried the girl, clasping her hands about his neck and
pressing her lips gently upon his. "Never. There, that will soothe
you, won't it, John?"
It did soothe him, and in the next moment, John, almost frenzied
with joy, hurt the girl by the violence of his embraces; but she,
woman-like, found her heaven in the pain.
They went back to the stone bench beside the gate, and after a
little time Dorothy said:—
"But tell me, John, would you have kissed the other woman? Would
you really have done it?"
John's honesty certainly was good policy in that instance. The
adroit girl had set a trap for him.
"I suppose I would," answered John, with a groan.
"It hurts me to hear the fact," said Dorothy, sighing; "but it
pleases me to hear the truth. I know all else you tell me is true.
I was trying you when I asked the question, for I certainly knew
what you intended to do. A woman instinctively knows when a man is
going to—to—when anything of that sort is about to
happen."
"How does she know?" asked
John.
Rocks and breakers ahead for Dorothy.
"I cannot tell you," replied the girl, naïvely, "but she
knows."
"Perhaps it is the awakened desire in her own heart which
forewarns her," said John, stealthily seeking from Dorothy a truth
that would pain him should he learn it.
"I suppose that is partly the source of her knowledge," replied
the knowing one, with a great show of innocence in her manner. John
was in no position to ask impertinent questions, nor had he any
right to grow angry at unpleasant discoveries; but he did both,
although for a time he suppressed the latter.
"You believe she is sure to know, do you?" he asked.
"Usually," she replied. "Of course there are times
when—when it happens so suddenly that—"
John angrily sprang to his feet, took a few hurried steps in
front of Dorothy, who remained demurely seated with her eyes cast
down, and then again he took his place beside her on the stone
bench. He was trembling with anger and jealousy. The devil was in
the girl that night for mischief.
"I suppose you speak from the fulness of your experience,"
demanded John, in tones that would have been insulting had they not
been pleasing to the girl. She had seen the drift of John's
questions at an early stage of the conversation, and his easily
aroused jealousy was good proof to her of his affection. After all,
she was in no danger from rocks and breakers. She well knew the
currents, eddies, rocks, and shoals of the sea she was navigating,
although she had never before sailed it. Her fore-mothers, all the
way back to Eve, had been making charts of those particular waters
for her especial benefit. Why do we, a slow-moving, cumbersome army
of men, continue to do battle with the foe at whose hands defeat is
always our portion?
"Experience?" queried
Dorothy, her head turned to one side in a half-contemplative
attitude. "Experience? Of course that is the only way we learn
anything."
John again sprang to his feet, and again he sat down beside the
girl. He had so recently received forgiveness for his own sins that
he dared not be unforgiving toward Dorothy. He did not speak, and
she remained silent, willing to allow time for the situation to
take its full effect. The wisdom of the serpent is black ignorance
compared with the cunning of a girl in Dorothy's situation. God
gives her wit for the occasion as He gives the cat soft paws, sharp
claws, and nimbleness. She was teaching John a lesson he would
never forget. She was binding him to her with hoops of steel.
"I know that I have not the right to ask," said John,
suppressing his emotions, "but may I know merely as a matter of
trivial information—may I know the name of—of the
person—this fellow with whom you have had so full an
experience? God curse him! Tell me his name." He caught the girl
violently by both arms as if he would shake the truth out of her.
He was unconsciously making full amends for the faults he had
committed earlier in the evening. The girl made no answer. John's
powers of self-restraint, which were not of the strongest order,
were exhausted, and he again sprang to his feet and stood towering
before her in a passion. "Tell me his name," he said hoarsely. "I
demand it. I will not rest till I kill him."
"If you would kill him, I surely will not tell you his name. In
truth, I admit I am very fond of him."
"Speak not another word to me till you tell me his name,"
stormed John. I feel sorry for John when I think of the part he
played in this interview; but every man knows well his
condition.
"I care not," continued John, "in what manner I have offended you, nor does my debt of
gratitude to you for your generosity in forgiving my sins weigh one
scruple against this you have told me. No man, unless he were a
poor clown, would endure it; and I tell you now, with all my love
for you, I will not—I will not!"
Dorothy was beginning to fear him. She of course did not fear
personal violence; but after all, while he was slower than she, he
was much stronger every way, and when aroused, his strength imposed
itself upon her and she feared to play him any farther.
"Sit beside me, John, and I will tell you his name," said the
girl, looking up to him, and then casting down her eyes. A dimpling
smile was playing about her lips.
"No, I will not sit by you," replied John, angrily. She partly
rose, and taking him by the arm drew him to her side.
"Tell me his name," again demanded John, sitting rigidly by
Dorothy. "Tell me his name."
"Will you kill him?" she asked.
"That I will," he answered. "Of that you may rest assured."
"If you kill him, John, it will break my heart; for to do so,
you must commit suicide. There is no other man but you, John. With
you I had my first, last, and only experience."
John, of course, was speechless. He had received only what he
deserved. I freely admit he played the part of a fool during this
entire interview with Dorothy, and he was more fully convinced of
the fact than either you or I can be. I do not like to have a fool
for the hero of my history; but this being a history and not a
romance, I must tell you of events just as they happened, and of
persons exactly as they were, else my conscience will smite me for
untruthfulness. Dorothy's last assault was too much for John. He
could neither parry nor thrust.
Her heart was full of mirth
and gladness.
"None other but you, John," she repeated, leaning forward in
front of him, and looking up into his eyes. A ray of moonlight
stealing its way between the forest boughs fell upon her upturned
face and caused it to glow with a goddess-like radiance.
"None but you, John. There never has been and there never shall
be another."
When John's consciousness returned he said, "Dorothy, can you
love such a fool as I?"
"That I can and that I do with all my heart," she returned.
"And can you forgive me for this last fault—for doubting
you?"
"That is easily done," she answered softly, "because doubt is
the child of love."
"But you do not doubt me?" he replied.
"N-o-o," she answered somewhat haltingly; "but I—I am a
woman."
"And a woman's heart is the home of faith," said John,
reverentially.
"Y-e-s," she responded, still not quite sure of her ground.
"Sometimes it is the home of too much faith, but faith, like
virtue, is its own reward. Few persons are false to one who gives a
blind, unquestioning faith. Even a poor degree of honor responds to
it in kind."
"Dorothy, I am so unworthy of you that I stand abashed in your
presence," replied John.
"No, you are not unworthy of me. We don't look for unmixed good
in men," said the girl with a mischievous little laugh. Then
seriously: "Those virtues you have are so great and so strong,
John, that my poor little virtues, while they perhaps are more
numerous than yours, are but weak things by comparison. In truth,
there are some faults in men which we women do not—do not
altogether dislike. They cause
us—they make us—oh, I cannot express exactly what I
mean. They make us more eager perhaps. A too constant man is like
an overstrong sweet: he cloys us. The faults I speak of hurt us;
but we thrive on them. Women enjoy pain now and then. Malcolm was
telling me the other day that the wise people of the East have a
saying: 'Without shadow there can be no light; without death there
can be no life; without suffering there can be no joy.' Surely is
that saying true of women. She who suffers naught enjoys naught.
When a woman becomes passive, John, she is but a clod. Pain gives
us a vent—a vent for something, I know not what it is; but
this I know, we are happier for it."
"I fear, Dorothy, that I have given you too much 'vent,' as you
call it," said John.
"No, no," she replied. "That was nothing. My great vent is that
I can pour out my love upon you, John, without stint. Now that I
know you are mine, I have some one whom I can deluge with it. Do
you know, John, I believe that when God made me He collected
together the requisite portions of reason, imagination, and
will,—there was a great plenty of will, John,—and all
the other ingredients that go to make a human being. But after He
had gotten them all together there was still a great space left to
be filled, and He just threw in an immensity of love with which to
complete me. Therefore, John, am I not in true proportion. There is
too much love in me, and it wells up at times and overflows my
heart. How thankful I should be that I may pour it upon you and
that it will not be wasted. How good you are to give me the sweet
privilege."
"How thankful should I be, Dorothy. I have never known you till
this night. I am unworthy—"
"Not another word of that sort, John," she interrupted, covering
his mouth with her hand.
They stood for a long time
talking a deal of celestial nonsense which I shall not give you. I
fear I have already given you too much of what John and Dorothy did
and said in this very sentimental interview. But in no other way
can I so well make you to know the persons of whom I write. I might
have said Dorothy was so and so, and John was such and such. I
might have analyzed them in long, dull pages of minute description;
but it is that which persons do and say that gives us true concept
of their characters; what others say about them is little else than
a mere statement that black is black and white is white. But to my
story again.
Dorothy by her beauty had won John's admiration when first he
beheld her. When he met her afterward, her charms of mind and her
thousand winsome ways moved him deeply. But upon the evening of
which I am now telling you he beheld for the first time her grand
burning soul, and he saw her pure heart filled to overflowing with
its dangerous burden of love, right from the hands of God Himself,
as the girl had said. John was of a coarser fibre than she who had
put him up for her idol; but his sensibilities were keen, and at
their awakening he saw clearly the worth of the priceless treasure
which propitious fate had given him in the love of Dorothy, and he
sat humbly at her feet. Yet she knew it not, but sat humbly at
John's feet the happiest woman in all the world because of her
great good fortune in having a demi-god upon whom she could lavish
the untold wealth of her heart. If you are a woman, pray God that
He may touch your eyes with Dorothy's blessed blindness. There is a
heaven in the dark for you, if you can find it.
I must leave the scene, though I am loath to do so. Seldom do we
catch a glimpse of a human soul, and more seldom still does it show
itself like a gust of God's breath upon the deep of eternity as it
did that night in Dorothy.
After a time John said: "I
have your promise to be my wife. Do you still wish to keep it?"
"What an absurd question, John," replied the girl, laughing
softly and contentedly. "Why else am I here? Tell me, think you,
John, should I be here if I were not willing and eager to—to
keep that promise?"
"Will you go with me notwithstanding your father's hatred of my
house?" he asked.
"Ah, truly that I will, John," she answered; "surely you know I
will go with you."
"Let us go at once. Let us lose not a moment. We have already
delayed too long," cried John in eager ecstasy.
"Not to-night, John; I cannot go to-night," she pleaded. "Think
of my attire," and she drew my cloak more closely about her. "I
cannot go with you this time. My father is angry with me because of
you, although he does not know who you are. Is it not famous to
have a lover in secret of whom nobody knows? Father is angry with
me, and as I told you in my letter, he keeps me a prisoner in my
rooms. Aunt Dorothy stands guard over me. The dear, simple old
soul! She told me, thinking I was Malcolm, that she was too old to
be duped by a girl! Oh, it was too comical!" And she threw back her
head and gave forth a peal of laughter that John was reluctantly
compelled to silence. "I would so delight to tell you of the scene
when I was in Aunt Dorothy's room impersonating Malcolm; but I have
so much else to say of more importance that I know I shall not tell
the half. When you have left me, I shall remember what I most
wished to say but forgot."
"No, John," she continued seriously, "my father has been cruel
to me, and I try to make myself think I do not love him; but I
fail, for I do love him." Tears were welling up in her eyes and
stifling her voice. In a moment she continued: "It would kill him, John, were I to
go with you now. I will go with you soon,—I give you
my solemn promise to that—but I cannot go now,—not now.
I cannot leave him and the others. With all his cruelty to me, I
love him, John, next to you. He will not come to see me nor will he
speak to me. Think of that." The tears that had welled up to her
eyes fell in a piteous stream over her cheeks. "Aunt Dorothy and
Madge," she continued, "are so dear to me that the thought of
leaving them is torture. But I will go with you some day, John,
some day soon, I promise you. They have always been kind and gentle
to me, and I love them and my father and my dear home where I was
born and where my sweet mother died—and Dolcy—I love
them all so dearly that I must prepare myself to leave them, John,
even to go with you. The heart strings of my whole life bind me to
them. Forgive me, John, forgive me. You must think of the grief and
pain I shall yet pass through to go to you. It is as I told you: we
women reach heaven only through purgatory. I must forsake all else
I love when I go to you. All, all! All that has been dear to me in
life I must forsake for—for that which is dearer to me than
life itself. I promise, John, to go with you, but—but forgive
me. I cannot go to-night."
"Nor can I ask it of you, Dorothy," said John. "The sacrifice
would be all on one side. I should forego nothing, and I should
receive all. You would forego everything, and God help me, you
would receive nothing worth having. I am unworthy—"
"Not that word, John," cried Dorothy, again covering his mouth
with—well, not with her hand. "I shall give up a great deal,"
she continued, "and I know I shall suffer. I suffer even now when I
think of it, for you must remember that I am rooted to my home and
to the dear ones it shelters; but I will soon make the
exchange, John; I shall make
it gladly when the time comes, because—because I feel that I
could not live if I did not make it."
"My father has already consented to our marriage," said John. "I
told him to-day all that had passed between you and me. He, of
course, was greatly pained at first; but when I told him of your
perfections, he said that if you and I were dear to each other, he
would offer no opposition, but would welcome you to his heart."
"Is your father that—that sort of a man?" asked Dorothy,
half in revery. "I have always heard—" and she hesitated.
"I know," replied John, "that you have heard much evil of my
father, but—let us not talk on that theme. You will know him
some day, and you may judge him for yourself. When will you go with
me, Dorothy?"
"Soon, very soon, John," she answered. "You know father intends
that I shall marry Lord Stanley. I intend otherwise. The
more father hurries this marriage with my beautiful cousin the
sooner I shall be—be your—that is, you know, the sooner
I shall go with you."
"You will not allow your father to force you to marry Lord
Stanley?" asked John, frightened by the thought.
"Ah," cried the girl, softly, "you know I told you that God had
put into me a great plenty of will. Father calls it wilfulness; but
whichever it is, it stands me in good hand now. You don't know how
much I have of it! You never will know until I am
your—your—wife." The last word was spoken in a soft,
hesitating whisper, and her head sought shamefaced refuge on John's
breast. Of course the magic word "wife" on Dorothy's lips aroused
John to action, and—but a cloud at that moment passed over
the moon and kindly obscured the scene.
"You do not blame me,
John," said Dorothy, "because I cannot go with you to-night? You do
not blame me?"
"Indeed I do not, my goddess," answered John. "You will soon be
mine. I shall await your pleasure and your own time, and when you
choose to come to me—ah, then—" And the kindly cloud
came back to the moon.