The Heart of Rachael
BOOK ONE
CHAPTER III
As a matter of fact, Rachael thought about him very often during the course
of the next two or three days, and after he had left her that night she could
think of nothing else. To the admiration of men she was cheerfully accustomed;
perhaps it would be safe to say that not in the course of the past ten years had
she ever found herself alone in a man's company without evoking a more or less
definite declaration of his admiration for her. But to- night's affair was a
little distinctive for several reasons. Warren Gregory was a most exceptional
man, for one thing; he was reputedly a coldblooded man, for another; and for a
third, he had been extraordinarily in earnest. There had been no hesitation, he
had committed himself wholeheartedly. She was conscious of a pleasurable thrill.
However gracious, however gallant Warren was, there had been no social pretence
in his attitude to-night.
And for a few moments she let her imagination play pleasantly with the
situation. It was at least a new thought, and life had run in a groove for a
long, long time. Granted the preliminaries safely managed, it would be a great
triumph for the woman whom Clarence Breckenridge had ignored to come back into
this group as Warren Gregory's wife.
Rachael got into bed, flinging two or three books down beside her pillow and
lighting the shaded lamp that stood at the bedside. She found herself unable to
read.
"Wouldn't Florence and Gardner buzz!" she thought with a smile. "And if they
buzzed at the divorce, what WOULDN'T they say if I really did remarry? But the
worst of it is" — and Rachael reaching for The Way of All Flesh sighed wearily
— "the worst of it is that one never DOES carry out plans, or I never
do, any more. I used to feel equal to any situation, now I don't — getting old,
perhaps. I wonder" — she stared dreamily at the soft shadows in the big room —
"I wonder if things are as queer to most people as they are to me? I don't get
much joy out of life, as it is, and yet I don't DARE cut loose and go away. No
maid, no club, living at some cheap hotel — no, I couldn't do that! I wish
there was someone who could advise me — some disinterested person, someone who
— well, who loved me, and who knew that I've always tried to be decent, always
tried to play the game. All I want is to be reasonably well treated; to have a
good time and be among pleasant people — "
Her thoughts wandered about among the various friends whose judgment might
serve at this crisis to clear her own thoughts and simplify the road before her.
Strangely enough, Warren Gregory's own mother was the first of whom she thought;
that pure and austere and uncompromising heart would certainly find the way.
Whether Rachael had the courage to follow it was another question. She loved old
Mrs. Gregory; they were good friends. But Rachael dismissed her with a little
shudder, as from the spatter of icy water against her bared breast. The bishop?
Rachael and Clarence duly kept a pew in one of the city's fashionable churches;
it was the Breckenridge family pew, rented by the family for a hundred years.
But they never sat in it, although Rachael felt vaguely sometimes that for
reasons undefined they should, and Clarence was apt in moments of sentiment to
reproach his wife with the statement that his grandmother had been a faithful
church woman, and his mother had always attended church on pleasant mornings in
winter.
But the bishop called on Rachael once a year, and Rachael liked him, and
mingled an air of pretty penitence for past negligences with a gracious promise
of better conduct in future. His Grace was a fine, breezy, broadminded man,
polished in manner, sympathetic, and tolerant. He had not risen to his present
eminence by too harsh a rebuke of the sinner.
His handsome young assistant, Father Graves, as he liked to be called, was
far more radical. But a great deal was forgiven this attractive boyish celibate
by the women of the Episcopal parish. They enjoyed his scoldings, gave him their
confidences, and asked his advice, though they never followed it. His slender,
black-clad figure, with the Roman collar, was admired by many bright eyes at
receptions and church bazaars.
Still, Rachael could not somehow consider herself as seriously asking either
of these two clergymen for advice. She could see the bishop, fitting finely
groomed fingers together, pursing his lips for a judicial reply.
"My dear Mrs. Breckenridge, that Clarence is now passing through a most
unfortunate, most lamentable, period in his life is, alas, perfectly true. His
mother — a lovely woman — was one of my wife's dearest friends, one of my own.
His first marriage was much against her wishes, poor dear lady, and — as my
wife was saying the other day — had she lived to see him happily married again,
and her grandchild in such good hands, it could not but have been a great joy to
her. Yes. ... Now, you and I know Clarence — know his good points, and know his
faults. That's one of the sad things about us poor human beings, we get to know
each other so well! And isn't it equally true that we're not patient enough with
each other? — oh, yes, I know we try. But do we try HARD enough? Isn't there
generally some fault on both sides, quick words, angry, hasty actions, argument
and blame, when we say things we don't mean and that we are sure to regret, eh?
We all get tired of the stupid round of daily duty, and of the people we are
nearest to — that's a sad thing, too. We'd all like a change, like to see if we
couldn't do something else better! And so comes the break, and the cloud on a
fine old name, and all because we aren't better soldiers — we don't want to
march in line! Bless me, don't I know the feeling myself? Why, that good little
wife of mine could tell you some tales of discouragement and disenchantment that
would make you open your eyes! But she braces me up, she puts heart into me —
and the first thing I know I'm marching again!"
And having comfortably shifted the entire trend of the conversation from his
parishioner to himself and found nothing insurmountable in his own problem, the
good bishop would chuckle mischievously at finding his eminent self quite human
after all, and would suggest their going in to find Mrs. Bishop, and having a
cup of tea. These women, always restless and dissatisfied, were a part of his
work; he prided himself upon the swiftness and tact with which he disposed of
them.
Rachael's mouth twisted wryly at the thought of him. No, she could not bare
her soul to the bishop.
Nor could she approach Father Graves with any real hope of a helping word. To
seek him out in his study — that esthetically bare and yet beautiful room, with
its tobacco-brown hangings and monastic furnishing in black oak — would be to
invite mischief. To sit there, with her eloquent eyes fixed upon his, her
haunting voice wrapping itself about his senses, would be a genuine cruelty
toward a harmless, well-intentioned youth whose heroism in abjuring the world,
the flesh, and the devil had not yet been great enough to combat his superb and
dignified egotism. At best, he would be won by Rachael's revelation of her soul
to a long and frankly indiscreet talk of his own; at worst, he would construe
her confidences in an entirely personal sense, and feel that she came not at all
to the priest and all to the man.
Dismissing him from her councils, Rachael thought of Florence Haviland, the
good and kind-hearted and capable matron who was Clarence's sister and only near
relative. She and Florence had always been good friends, had often discussed
Clarence of late. What sort of advice would Florence's forty-five years be apt
to give to Rachael's twenty-eight? "Don't be so absurd, Rachael, half the men in
our set drink as much as Clarence does. Don't jump from the frying-pan into the
fire. Remember Elsie Rowland and Marian Cowles when you talk so lightly of
divorce!"
That would be Florence's probable attitude. Still, it was a bracing attitude,
heartily positive, like everything Florence did and said. And Florence was above
everything else a church member, a prominent Christian in her self-sacrificing
wifehood and motherhood, her social and charitable and civic work. She might be
unflattering, but she would be right. Rachael's last conscious thought, as she
went off to sleep, was that she would take the earliest possible moment to
extract a verdict from Florence,
She went into her husband's room at ten o'clock the next morning to find
Billy radiantly presiding over a loaded breakfast tray, and the invalid, pale
and pasty, and with no particular interest in food evinced by the twitching
muscles of his face, nevertheless neatly brushed and shaved, propped up in
pillows, and making a visible effort to appear convalescent.
"How are you this morning?" Rachael asked perfunctorily, with her quick
glance moving from the books on the table to the wood fire burning lazily behind
brass firedogs. Everything was in perfect order, Helda's touch visible
everywhere.
"Fine," Clarence answered, also perfunctorily. His coffee was untouched, and
the cigarette in his long holder had gone out, but Billy was disposing of eggs,
toast, bacon, and cream with youthful zest. Clarence's hot, sick gaze rested
almost with hostility upon his wife's cool beauty; in a gray linen gown, with a
transparent white ruffle turned back from her white throat, she looked as fresh
as the fresh spring morning.
"Headache?" said the nicely modulated, indifferent voice.
To this solicitude Clarence made no answer. A dark, ugly look came into his
face, and he turned his eyes sullenly and wearily away.
"How was the Chase dinner, Bill?" pursued the cheerful visitor, unabashed.
"Same old thing," Carol answered briefly.
"You're not up to the Perrys' lunch to-day, are you, Clancy?"
"Oh, my God, no!" burst from the sufferer.
"Well, I'll telephone them. If Florence comes in this morning I'm going to
say you're asleep, so keep quiet up here. Do you want to see Greg again?"
"No, I don't!" said Clarence, with unexpected vigor. "Steer him off if you
can. Preaching at me last night as if he'd never touched anything stronger than
malted milk!"
"I don't imagine I'll have much trouble steering him off," Rachael said
coldly. "His Sundays are pretty well occupied without — sick calls!"
There was a delicate and scornful emphasis on the word "sick" that brought
the blood to Clarence Breckenridge's face. Billy flushed, too, and an angry
light flamed into her eyes.
"That's not fair, Rachael!" the girl said hotly, "and you know it's not!"
The glances of the three crossed. Billy was breathing hard; Clarence, shakily
holding a fresh match to his cold cigarette, sent a lowering look from daughter
to wife. Rachael shrugged her shoulders.
"Well, I'll have my breakfast," she said, and turning she went from the room
and downstairs to the sunshiny breakfast porch. There were flowers on the little
round table, a bright glitter was struck from silver and glass, an icy
grapefruit, brimming with juice, stood at her place. The little room was all
windows, and to-day the cretonne curtains had been pushed back to show the
garden brave in new spring green, the exquisite freshness of elm and locust
trees that bordered it, and far away the slopes of the golf green, with the
scarlet and white dots that were early players moving over it. Sunshine flooded
the world, great plumes of white and purple lilac rustled in their tents of
green leaves, a bee blundered from the blossoming wistaria vine into the room,
and blundered out again. Far off Rachael heard a cock breaking the Sabbath
stillness with a prolonged crow, and as the clock in the dining-room chimed one
silver note for the half-hour, the bells of the church in the little village of
Belvedere Bay began to ring.
Of the comfort, the beauty, and the harmony of all this, however, Rachael saw
and felt nothing. Her brief interview with her husband had left a bitter taste
in her mouth. She felt neither courage nor appetite for the new day. Annie
carried away the blue bowl of porridge untouched, reporting to Ellie: "She don't
want no eggs, nor sausage, nor waffles — nothing more!"
Ellie, the cook, who boarded a four-year-old daughter with the gardener and
his wife, at the gate-lodge, was deep in the robust charms of this young person,
and not sorry to be uninterrupted.
"Thank goodness she don't," she said. "Do you want a little waffle all for
yourself, Lovey? Do you want to pour the batter into Ma's iron yourself? Pin a
napkin round her, Annie! An' then you can eat it out on the steps, darlin',
because it just seems to be a shame to spend a minute indoors when God sends us
a mornin' like this!"
"It must have been grand, walking to church this morning, all right," said
Alfred, who was busy with golf sticks and emery on the vine-shaded porch.
"It was!" said Ellie and Annie together, and Annie added: "Rose from
Bowditch's was there, and she says she can't get away but about once a month.
She always has to wait on the children's breakfast at eight, and then down comes
the others at half-past nine, or later, the way she never has a moment until
it's too late for High! I told her she had a right to look for another place!"
"There's worse places than this," Ellie said, watching her small daughter
begin on her waffle. A general nodding of heads in a contented silence indicated
that there was some happiness in the Breckenridge household even though it was
below stairs.
Rachael's sombre revery was presently interrupted by the smooth crushing of
wheels on the pebbled drive and the announcement of Mrs. Haviland, who followed
her name promptly into the breakfast- room. A fine, large, beautifully gowned
woman, with a prayer book in her white-gloved hand, and a veil holding her
close, handsome spring hat in place, she glanced at the coffee and hot bread
with superiority only possible to a person whose own breakfast is several hours
past.
"Rachael, you lazy woman!" said Florence Haviland lightly, breathing deep, as
a heavy woman in tight corsets must perforce breathe on a warm spring morning.
"Do you realize that it's almost eleven o'clock?"
"Perfectly!" Mrs. Breckenridge said. "I slept until nine, and felt quite
proud of myself to think that I had got through so much of the day!"
Mrs. Haviland gave her a sharp look in answer, not quite disapproving, yet
far from pleased.
"I started the girlies off to eight o'clock service," she said capably.
"Fraulien went with them, and that leaves the maids free to go when they
please." This was one of Mrs. Haviland's favorite illusions. "Gardner begged off
this morning, he's been so good about going lately that I couldn't very well
refuse, so I started early and have just dropped him at the club."
"Was Gardner at the Berry Stokes bachelor dinner on Friday night?" asked
Rachael. Mrs. Haviland was all comprehension at once.
"No, he couldn't. Mr. Payne of the London branch was here you know, and
Gardner's been terribly tied. He left yesterday, thank goodness. Clarence went
of course? Oh, dear, dear, dear!"
The last three words came on a gentle sigh. Clarence's sister compressed her
lips and shook her handsome head.
"Is he very bad?" she asked reluctantly.
"Pretty much as usual," Rachael answered philosophically. "I had Greg in."
And suddenly, unexpectedly, she felt a quick happy flutter at her heart, and a
roseate mist drifted before her eyes.
"It's disgraceful!" Mrs. Haviland said, eying Rachael hopefully for a wifely
denial. As this was not forthcoming, she went on briskly: "However, my dear,
Clarence isn't the only one! They say Fred Bowditch is actually" — her voice
sank to a discreet undertone as she added the word — "violent; and poor Lucy
Pickering needed a rest cure the moment she got her divorce, she was in such a
nervous state. I'm not defending Clarence — "
"What are you doing, then?" Rachael asked, with her cool smile.
"Well, I — " Mrs. Haviland, who had been drifting comfortably along on a
tide of words, stopped, a little at a loss. "I hope I don't have to defend your
own husband to you, Rachael," she said reproachfully.
"I'm getting pretty tired of it," said Rachael moodily.
Mrs. Haviland watched the downcast beautiful face opposite her with a sense
of growing alarm.
"My dear," she said impressively, "of course it's hard for you; we all know
that. But just at this time, Rachael, it would be absolutely FATAL to have any
open break with Clarence — "
Rachael flung up her head impatiently, then dropped her face in her hands.
"I don't want any open break," she muttered.
"You do? Oh, you DON'T?" Mrs. Haviland questioned anxiously. "No, of course
you don't. He's not himself now, for several reasons. For one — and that's what
I specially came to speak to you about — for one thing, he's terribly worried
about Carol. Carol," repeated Mrs. Haviland significantly, "and Joe Pickering."
Rachael raised sombre eyes, but did not speak.
"Is Carol here?" her aunt asked delicately.
"Dressing," Rachael answered briefly.
"Do you realize," Mrs. Haviland said, "that everyone is beginning to talk?"
"Perfectly," Rachael admitted. "But what do you expect me to do?"
"SOMETHING must be done," said the other woman firmly.
"By whom?" Rachael countered lightly.
"Well — by Clarence, I suppose," Mrs. Haviland suggested discontentedly.
"Clarence!" Rachael's tone was but a scornful breath. Her glance toward the
ceiling evoked more clearly than any words a vision of Clarence's condition at
the moment.
"Well, I suppose he can't do anything just now, anyway," his sister conceded
ruefully. "Can't you — couldn't you talk to her, Rachael?"
"Talk to her?" Mrs. Breckenridge smiled at some memory. "My dear Florence,
you don't suppose I haven't talked to her!"
"Well, I suppose of course you have," Mrs. Haviland said hastily. "But my
dear, it's dreadful! People are beginning to ask questions; a reporter — we
don't know who he was — telephoned Gardner. Of course Gardner hung up — "
"I can say no more than I have said," Rachael observed thoughtfully. "What
authority have I? Clarence could influence her, I think, but she lies simply and
flatly to Clarence."
Mrs. Haviland winced at the ugly word.
"Joe drinks," Rachael went on, "but he doesn't drink as much as her adored
Daddy does. Joe is thirty-nine and Billy is seventeen — well, that's not his
fault. Joe is divorced — well, but Carol's mother is living, and Clarence's
second wife isn't exactly ostracised by society! A clergyman of your own church
married Clarence and me — " The little scornful twist of the beautiful mouth
stung a church woman conscious of personal integrity, and Mrs. Haviland said:
"A great many of them won't! The church is going to take a stand in the
matter. The bishops are considering a canon. ..."
Mrs. Breckenridge shrugged her shoulders indifferently. Theology did not
interest her.
"And as Billy is too young and too blind to see that Joe isn't a gentleman,"
she continued, "or to realize that Lucy got her divorce against his will, to
believe that her money might well influence a gentleman of Joe's luxurious
tastes and dislike for office work — why, I suppose they will be married!"
"Never!" said Florence Haviland, with some heat, "DON'T!"
"Unless Clarence shoots him," submitted Rachael. A look of intense anxiety
clouded Mrs. Haviland's eyes.
"I believe he would," she said, in a wretched whisper, with a cautious glance
about.
"He might," his wife said seriously. "If ever it comes to that, we shall
simply have to keep them apart. You see Billy — the clever little devil — "
"Oh, Rachael, DON'T use such words!" said the church woman. "Father Graves
was saying only the other day that one's speech should be 'yea, yea' and — "
"I daresay!" Mrs. Breckenridge's smile was indulgent. It had been many years
since Florence had succeeded in ruffling her. "Billy, then," she resumed, "keeps
her father happy in the thought that he is all the world to her, and that her
occasional chats with Joe are of an entirely uplifting and impersonal
character."
"Impersonal! Uplifting!" Mrs. Haviland repeated indignantly. "There wasn't
very much uplift about them the other night. Gardner and I stopped in to see if
we couldn't take you to the Hoyts', but you'd gone. Carol had on that
flame-colored dress of hers, her hair was fluffed all over her ears in that
silly way the girls do now; Joe couldn't take his eyes off her. The only light
they had in the drawing-room was the yellow lamp and the fire; it was the
coziest thing I ever saw!"
"Vivvy Sartoris was here!" Rachael said quickly.
"Don't you believe it, my dear!" Mrs. Haviland returned triumphantly. "Carol
was very demure, 'Tante' this and 'Tante' that, but I knew right away that
something was amiss! 'Oh,' I said right out flatly, 'are you alone here, Carol?'
and she answered very prettily: 'Vivian was to be here, but she hasn't come
yet!' This was after half-past seven."
"I understood Vivian WAS here," said Rachael, flushing darkly. "Let me see —
the next morning — where was I? Oh, yes, it was your luncheon, and Billy had
gone out for some tennis when I came downstairs. I supposed of course — but I
didn't ask. I DID ask Helda what time she had let the gentleman out and she said
before eleven — not much after half-past ten, in fact."
"You see, we mustn't go on suppositions and halftruths any more," said Mrs.
Haviland in delicate reproach. "When we have that wonderful and delicate thing,
a girl's soul, to deal with, we must be SURE."
"I suppose I'd better tell Clarence that — about Wednesday night," Rachael
said, downing with some effort an impulse to ask Florence not to be so smug.
"Well, I think you had," the other agreed, with visible relief.
"As for me," Mrs. Breckenridge said, nettled by her sister-in- law's
attitude, and mischievously interested in the effect of her thunderbolt, "I'm
just desperately tired of it. I can't see that I'm doing Clarence, or Billy, or
myself, any good! I'd like to resign, and let somebody else try for a while!"
Steel leaped into Mrs. Haviland's light-blue eyes. She felt the shock in
every fibre of body and soul, but she flung herself gallantly into the charge.
Her large form straightened, her expression achieved a certain remoteness.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked sharply.
"The usual thing, I suppose," Rachael answered indifferently.
The older woman, watching her closely, essayed a brief, dry laugh.
"Don't talk absurdities," she said boldly. But Rachael saw the uneasiness
under the assured manner, and smiled to herself.
"It's not absurd at all," she protested, still with her smiling,
half-negligent air; "I've put it off years longer than most women would; now I'm
getting rather tired."
"It's a great mistake to talk that way, whether you mean it or not," Mrs.
Haviland said, after an uncomfortable moment, during which her face flushed, and
her breath began to come rather fast. "But you're joking, of course; you're too
sensible to take any step that would only plunge you into fresh difficulties.
Clarence is very trying, I know — we all know that — but let's try to face the
situation sensibly, and not fly off the handle like this! Why, Rachael dear, I
can hardly believe it's your cool-headed, reasonable self talking," she went on
more quietly. "Don't — don't even think about it! In the first place, you
couldn't get it!"
"Oh, yes, I could. Clarence wouldn't contest it," Rachael said. "He'd agree
to anything to be rid of me. If not — if he wouldn't agree to my filing suit
under the New York law, I could establish my residence in California or Nevada,
and bring suit there. ..."
Mrs. Haviland gasped.
"Give up your home and your car and your maids for some small hotel?" she
questioned, with her favorite air of neatly placing her fingertip upon the weak
spot in her opponent's armor. "No clubs, no dinners, none of your old friends —
have you thought of that?"
"You may imagine that I've thought of it from a good many angles, Florence,"
Rachael said coldly, finding that what had been a mere drifting idea was
beginning to take rather definite form in her mind. It was delightful to see the
usually complacent and domineering Florence so agitated and at a loss.
"I never dreamed — " Mrs. Haviland mused dazedly. "How long, in Heaven's
name, have you been thinking about it?"
"Oh, quite some time," said Rachael.
"Well, it's awful!" the other woman said. "It'll make the most awful — and
as if poor Clarence hadn't been all through it all once! I declare it makes me
sick! But I can't believe you're serious. Rachael, think — think what it
means!"
"It's a very serious thing," the other assented placidly. "But Clarence has
no one but himself to blame."
"Only Clarence won't BE blamed, my dear; men never are!" Mrs. Haviland
suggested unkindly. Rachael reddened.
"I don't care what they say or whom they blame!" she answered proudly.
"Ah, well, my dear, we aren't any of us really indifferent to criticism," the
older woman said, watching closely the effect of her words. "People are
censorious — it's too bad, it's a pity — but there you are. 'There must have
been something we didn't understand,' they say, 'there must be another man!'"
Rachael raised her head a little, and managed a smile.
"That's what they say," Mrs. Haviland went on, mildly triumphant. "And no
matter how brave or how independent a woman is, she doesn't like THAT." There
came to the speaker suddenly, under her smooth flow of words, a sickening shock
of realization: it was of Rachael and Clarence she was speaking, her nearest
relatives; it was one of the bulwarks of her world that was threatened! Without
her knowledge her tone became less sure and more sincere. "For God's sake, think
what you are doing, dear," she said pleadingly; "think of Carol and of us all!
Don't drag us all through the papers again! I know what Clarence is, poor
wretched boy; he's always had too much money, he's always had his own way. I
know what you put up with week in and week out — "
Mrs. Haviland's usual attitude of assured superiority never impressed her
sister-in-law. Her pompous magnificence was a source of unmitigated amusement to
Rachael. But now the older woman's emotion had carried her on to genuine and
honest expression in spite of herself, and listening, Rachael found herself
curiously stirred. She looked down, conscious of a sudden melting in her heart,
a thickening in her throat.
"I've always been so fond of you, Rachael," Florence went on. "I've always
stood your friend — you know that — "
"I know," Rachael said huskily, her lashes dropped.
"Long before I knew how much you would be liked, Rachael, and what a fuss
people were going to make over you, I made you welcome," continued Florence
simply, with tears in her eyes. "I thanked God that Clarence had married a good
woman, and that Carol would have a refined and a — I may say a Christian home.
Isn't that true?"
"I know," Rachael said again with an effort, as she paused.
"Then think it over," besought the other woman eagerly. "Think that Carol
will marry, and that Clarence — " Her ardent tone dropped suddenly. There was a
moment's pause. Then she added dryly, "How do, dear?"
"How do, Tante Firenze!" said Carol, who had come abruptly into the, room.
"How are the girls? Say, listen! Is Isabelle going to the Bowditches'?"
"I don't even know that Charlotte is going," Mrs. Haviland said, with an
auntly smile of baffling sweetness that yet contained a subtle reproof. "Uncle
Gardner and I haven't made up our minds. Isabelle in any case would only go to
look on, so she is not so much interested, but poor Charlotte is simply on
tenterhooks to know whether it's to be yes or no. Girls' first parties" — her
indulgent smile included Rachael — "dear me, how important they seem!"
"I should think you'd have to answer Mrs. Bowditch," said Carol in plain
disgust at this maternal vacillation.
"Mrs. Bowditch is fortunately an old enough friend, dear, to waive the usual
formalities," her aunt answered sweetly.
"But, my gracious — Charlotte's two months older than I am, and she won't
know any of the men!" Carol protested.
"Don't speak in that precocious way, Bill," Rachael said sharply. "You went
to your first dances last winter!"
Carol gave her stepmother a look conspicuously devoid of affection, and
turned to adjust her smart little hat with the aid of a narrow mirror hanging
between the glass dining-room doors.
"You couldn't drop me at the club, on your way to church, Tante?" she
presently inquired. And to Rachael she added, with youthful impatience, "I told
Dad where I was going!"
Mrs. Haviland rose somewhat heavily.
"Glad to. Any chance of you coming to lunch, Rachael? What are your plans?"
"Thank you, no, woman dear! I may go over to Gertrude's for tea."
The little group broke up. Mrs. Haviland and her niece went out to the
waiting motor car purring on the pebbled drive. Rachael idly watched them out of
sight, sighed at the thought of wasting so beautiful a day indoors, and went
slowly upstairs. Her husband, comfortably propped in pillows, looked better.
"Clarence," said she, depositing several pounds of morning papers upon the
foot of his bed, "who's Billy lunching with at the club?"
Clarence picked up the uppermost paper, fixed his eyes attentively upon it,
and puffed upon his cigarette for reply.
"Do you know?" Rachael asked vigorously.
No answer. Mr. Breckenridge, his eyes still intent upon what he was reading,
held his cigarette at arm's length over the brass bowl on the table beside the
bed, and dislodged a quarter-inch of ash with his little finger.
Rachael, briskly setting his cluttered table to rights, gave him an angry
glance that, so far as any effect upon him was concerned, was thrown away.
"Don't be so rude, Clarence," she said, in annoyance. "Billy said you agreed
to her going to the club for golf. Who's she with?"
At last Mr. Breckenridge raised sodden and redshot eyes to his wife's face,
moistening his dark and swollen lips carefully with his tongue before he spoke.
He was a fat-faced man, who, despite evidences of dissipation, did not look his
more than forty years. There was no gray in his thin, silky hair, and there
still lingered an air of youth and innocence in his round face. This morning he
was in a bad temper because his whole body was still upset from the Friday night
dinner and drinking party, and in his soul he knew that he had cut rather a poor
figure before Billy, and that the little minx had taken instant advantage of the
situation.
"I just want to say this, Rachael," Clarence said, with an icy dignity only
slightly impaired by the lingering influences of drink. "I'm Billy's father, and
I understand her, and she understands me. That's all that's necessary; do you
get me?" He put his cigarette holder back in his mouth, gripped it firmly
between his teeth, and turned again to his paper. "If some of you damned jealous
women who are always running around trying to make trouble would let her ALONE"
he went on sulkily, "I'd be obliged to you — that's all!"
Rachael settled her ruffles in a big wing-chair with the innocent expression
of a casual caller. She took a book from the reading table, and fluttered a few
pages indifferently.
"Listen, Clancy," said she placatingly. "Florence was just here, and she says
— and I agree — that there is no question that Joe Pickering is devoted to
Bill. Now, I don't say that Billy is equally devoted — "
"Ha! Better not!" said Clarence at white heat, one eye watchful over the top
of the paper.
"But I DO say," pursued Rachael steadily, "that she is with him a good deal
more than she will admit. Yesterday, for instance, when she was playing tennis
with the Parmalees and the Pinckard boy, Kent came up to the house to get some
ginger ale. I happened to be dummy, and I went out on the terrace. Joe's horse
was down near the courts, and Joe and Billy were sitting there on one of the
benches — where the others were I don't know. When Kent went down with the
ginger ale, Joe got on his horse and went off. Of course it was only for a few
minutes, but Billy didn't say anything about it — "
Her voice, with a tentative question in it, rested in air. Clarence turned a
page with some rustling of paper.
"Then Florence says," Rachael went on after a moment, "that when she and
Gardner stopped here Wednesday night Joe was here, and Vivvie Sartoris wasn't
here. Now, of course, I don't KNOW, for I didn't ask Alfred — -"
"There you go," said the sick man witheringly. "That's right — ask the
maids, and get all the servants talking; all come down on the heels of a poor
little girl like a pack of yapping wolves! I suppose if she was plain and
unattractive — I should think you'd be ashamed," he went on, changing his high
and querulous key to one of almost priestly authority and reproof, "Upon my
word, it's beneath your dignity. My little girl comes to me, and she explains
the whole matter. Pickering admires her — she can't help that — and she has an
influence over him. She tells me he hasn't touched a thing but beer for six
weeks, just because she asked him to give up heavy drinking. He told her the
other day that if he had met her a few years ago, Lucy never would have left
him. She's wakened the boy up, he's a different fellow — "
"All that may be true," Rachael said quickly, the color that his preposterous
rebuke had summoned to her cheeks still flushing them, "still, you don't want
Billy to marry Joe Pickering! You know that sort of pity, and that business of
reforming a man — " She paused, but Clarence did not speak. "Not that Billy
herself realizes it, I daresay," Rachael added presently, watching the reader's
absorbed face for an answering look.
Silence.
"Clarence!" she began imperatively.
Clarence withdrew his attention from the paper with an obvious effort, and
spoke in a laboriously polite tone.
"I don't care to discuss it, Rachael."
"But — " Rachael stopped short on the word. Silence reigned in the big,
bright room except for the occasional rustle of Clarence's newspaper. His wife
sat idle, her eyes roving indifferently from the gayly papered walls to the
gayly flowered hangings, the great bowl of daffodils on the bookcase, the
portrait of Carol that, youthful and self-conscious, looked down from the
mantel. On the desk a later photograph of Carol, in a silver frame, was duly
flanked by one of Rachael, the girl in the gown she had worn for her first big
dance, the woman looking out from under the narrow brim of a snug winter hat,
great furs framing her beautiful face, and her slender figure wrapped in furs.
Here also was a picture of Florence Haviland, her handsome face self-satisfied,
her trio of homely, distinguished-looking girls about her, and a small picture
of Gardner, and two of Clarence's dead mother: one, as they all remembered her,
a prim-looking woman with gray hair and magnificent lace on her unfashionable
gown, the other, taken thirty years before, showing her as cheerful and
youthful, a cascade of ringlets falling over her shoulder, the arm that
coquettishly supported her head resting upon an upholstered pedestal, a
voluminous striped silk gown sweeping away from her in rich folds. There was
even a picture of Clarence and Florence when they were respectively eight and
twelve, Clarence in a buttoned serge kilt and plaid stockings, his fat, gentle
little face framed in damp careful curls, Florence also with plaid stockings and
a scalloped frock. Clarence sat in a swing; Florence, just behind him, leaned on
an open gate, her legs crossed carelessly as she rested on her elbows. And there
was a picture of their father, a simple-faced man in an ample beard, taken at
that period when photographs were highly glazed, and raised in bas relief. Least
conspicuous of all was a snapshot framed in a circle of battered blue-enamel
daisies, the picture of a baby girl laughing against a background of dandelions
and meadow grass. And Rachael knew that this was Clarence's greatest treasure,
that it went wherever he went, and that it was worn shabby and tarnished from
his hands and his lips.
Sometimes she looked at it and wondered. What a bright-faced, gay little
thing Billy had been! Who had set her down in that field, and quieted the
rioting eyes and curls and dimples, and anchored the restless little feet, while
Baby watched Dad and the black box with the birdie in it? Paula? Once, idly
interested in those old days before she had known him, she had asked about the
picture. But Clarence, glad to talk of it, had not mentioned his wife.
"It was before my father died; we were up in the old Maine place," he had
said. "Gosh, Bill was cute that day! We went on a drive — no motor cars then —
and took our lunch, and after lunch the kid comes and settles herself in my arms
— for a nap, if you please! 'Say, look-a-here,' I said, 'what do you think I am
— a Pullman?' I wanted a smoke, by George! She wasn't two, you know. Her fat
little legs were bare, we'd put her into socks, and her face was flushed, and
she just looked up at me through her hair and said, 'Hing!' Well, it was
good-bye smoke for me! I sang all right, and she cuddled down as pleased as a
kitten, and off she went!"
To-day Rachael's eyes wandered from the picture to Clarence's face. She tried
to study it dispassionately, but, still shaken by their recent conversation, and
sitting there, as she knew she was sitting there, merely to prove that it had
had no effect upon her, she felt this to be a little difficult.
What sort of a little boy had he been? A fat little boy, of course. She
disliked fat little boys. A spoiled little boy, never crossed in any way. His
mother made him go to Sunday-school, and dancing school, and to Miss Nesmith's
private academy, where he was coaxed and praised and indulged even more than at
home. And old Fanny, who was still with Florence, superintended his baths and
took care of his clothes, and ran her finger over the bristles of his toothbrush
every morning, to see if he had told her the truth. He rarely did; they used to
laugh about those old deceptions. Clarence used to laugh as violently as the old
woman when she accused him of occasional kicking and biting.
Other boys came in to play with him. Was it because of his magic lantern and
his velocipede, his unending supply of cream puffs and licorice sticks, or
because they liked him? Rachael knew only a detail here and there: that he had
danced a fancy dance with Anna Vanderwall when he was a fat sixteen, at a
Kermess, and that he had given a stag dinner to twenty youths of his own age a
few days before he went off to college, and that they had drunk a hundred and
fifty dollars' worth of champagne. She knew that his allowance at college was
three hundred dollars a month, and that he never stayed within it, and it was
old Fanny's boast that every stitch the boy ever wore from the day he was born
came from London or Paris. His underwear was as dainty as a bride's; he had his
first dress suit at fifteen; at college he had his suite of three big rooms
furnished like showrooms, his monogrammed cigarettes, his boat, and his horse.
The thought of all these things used to distress his mother when she was old
and much alone. She attempted to belittle the luxury of Clarence's boyhood. She
told Rachael that he was treated just as the other boys were. Her conscience was
never quite easy about his upbringing.
"You can't hold a boy too tight, you know, or else he'll break away
altogether," old lady Breckenridge would say to Rachael, sitting before a coal
fire in the gloomy magnificence of her old- fashioned drawingroom and pressing
the white fingers of one hand against the agonized joints of the other. "I was
often severe with Clarence, and he was a good boy until he got with other boys;
he was always loving to me. He never should have married Paula Verlaine," she
would add fretfully. "A good woman would have overlooked his faults and made a
fine man of him, but she was always an empty-headed little thing! Ah, well" —
and the poor old woman would sigh as she drew her fluffy shawl about her
shoulders- -"I cannot blame myself, that's my great consolation now, Rachael,
when I think of facing my Master and rendering an account. I have been heavily
afflicted, but I am not the first God-fearing woman who has been visited with
sorrow through her children!"
Clarence had visited his mother often in the weeks that preceded her death,
but she did not take much heed of his somewhat embarrassed presence, nor, to
Rachael's surprise, did her last hours contain any of those heroic joys that are
supposedly the reward of long suffering and virtue. An unexpressed terror seemed
to linger in her sickroom, indeed to pervade the whole house; the invalid lay
staring drearily at the heavy furnishings of her immense dark room, a nurse
slipped in and out; the bloody light of the westering sun, falling through
stairway windows of colored glass, blazed in the great hallway all through the
chilly October afternoons. Callers came and went, there were subdued voices and
soft footsteps; flowers came, their wet fragrance breaking from oiled paper and
soaked cardboard boxes, the cards that were wired to them resisting all attempts
at detachment. Clergymen came, and Rachael imitated their manner afterward, to
the general delight.
On the day before she died Mrs. Breckenridge caught her son's plump cool hand
in her own hot one, and made him promise to stop drinking, and to go to church,
and to have Carol confirmed. Clarence promised everything.
But he did not keep his promises. Rachael had not thought he would; perhaps
the old lady herself had not thought he would. He was sobered at the funeral,
but not sober. Six weeks later all the bills against the estate were in.
Florence had some of the family jewels and the family silver, Rachael had some,
some was put away for Billy; the furniture was sold, the house rented for a
men's club, and a nondescript man, calling upon young Mrs. Breckenridge,
notified her that the stone had been set in place as ordered. They never saw it;
they paid a small sum annually for keeping the plot in order, and the episode of
Ada Martin Langhorne Breckenridge's life was over.
Clarence drank so heavily after that, and squandered his magnificent heritage
so recklessly, that people began to say that he would soon follow his mother.
But that was four years ago, and Rachael looking dispassionately at him, where
he lay dozing in his pillows, had to admit that he had shown no change in the
past four — or eight, or twelve — years. Like many a better woman, and many a
better wife, she wondered if she would outlive him, vaguely saw herself, correct
and remote, in her new black.
Involuntarily she sighed. How free she would be! She wished Clarence no ill,
but the fact remained that, loose as was the bond between them, it galled and
checked them both at every step. Their conversations were embittered by a
thousand personalities, they instinctively knew how to hurt each other; a look
from Clarence could crush his poised and accomplished wife into a mere sullen
shrew, and she knew that it took less than a look from her — it took the mere
existence of her youth and health and freshness — to infuriate him sometimes.
At best, their relationship consciously avoided hostility. Rachael was silent,
fuming; Clarence fumed and was silent; they sank to light monosyllables; they
parted as quickly as possible. Would Clarence like to dine with this friend or
that? Rachael didn't think he would, but might as well ask him. No, thank you!
he wouldn't be found dead in that bunch. Did Rachael want to go with the Smiths
and the Joneses to dine at the Highway, and dance afterward? Oh, horrors! no,
thank you!
It was only when she spoke of Billy that Rachael was sure of his interest and
attention, and of late she perforce had for Billy only criticism and
disapproval. Rachael read the girl's vain and shallow and pleasure-loving little
heart far more truly than her father could, and she was conscious of a genuine
fear lest Billy bring sorrow to them all. Society was indulgent, yes, but an
insolent and undeveloped little girl like Billy could not snap her fingers at
the law without suffering the full penalty. Rachael would suffer, too. Florence
and her girls would suffer, and Clarence — well, Clarence would not bear it.
"What an awful mix-up it is!" Rachael thought wearily. "And what a sickening,
tiresome place this world is!"
And then suddenly the thought of Warren Gregory came back, and the new
curious sensation of warmth tugged at her heart.