HOWARDS END
Chapter 23
Margaret had no intention of letting things slide, and the evening before she
left Swanage she gave her sister a thorough scolding. She censured her,
not for disapproving of the engagement, but for throwing over her disapproval a
veil of mystery. Helen was equally frank. "Yes," she said, with the
air of one looking inwards, "there is a mystery. I can't help it.
It's not my fault. It's the way life has been made." Helen in those days
was over-interested in the subconscious self. She exaggerated the Punch
and Judy aspect of life, and spoke of mankind as puppets, whom an invisible
showman twitches into love and war. Margaret pointed out that if she dwelt
on this she, too, would eliminate the personal. Helen was silent for a
minute, and then burst into a queer speech, which cleared the air. "Go on
and marry him. I think you're splendid; and if anyone can pull it off, you
will." Margaret denied that there was anything to "pull off," but she continued:
"Yes, there is, and I wasn't up to it with Paul. I can only do what's
easy. I can only entice and be enticed. I can't, and won't attempt
difficult relations. If I marry, it will either be a man who's strong
enough to boss me or whom I'm strong enough to boss. So I shan't ever
marry, for there aren't such men. And Heaven help any one whom I do marry,
for I shall certainly run away from him before you can say 'Jack Robinson.'
There! Because I'm uneducated. But you, you're different; you're a
heroine."
"Oh, Helen! Am I? Will it be as
dreadful for poor Henry as all that?"
"You mean to
keep proportion, and that's heroic, it's Greek, and I don't see why it shouldn't
succeed with you. Go on and fight with him and help him. Don't ask
me for help, or even for sympathy. Henceforward I'm going my own
way. I mean to be thorough, because thoroughness is easy. I mean to
dislike your husband, and to tell him so. I mean to make no concessions to
Tibby. If Tibby wants to live with me, he must lump me. I mean to
love you more than ever. Yes, I do. You and I have built up
something real, because it is purely spiritual. There's no veil of mystery
over us. Unreality and mystery begin as soon as one touches the
body. The popular view is, as usual, exactly the wrong one. Our
bothers are over tangible things--money, husbands, house-hunting. But
Heaven will work of itself."
Margaret was grateful
for this expression of affection, and answered, "Perhaps." All vistas close in
the unseen--no one doubts it--but Helen closed them rather too quickly for her
taste. At every turn of speech one was confronted with reality and the
absolute. Perhaps Margaret grew too old for metaphysics, perhaps Henry was
weaning her from them, but she felt that there was something a little unbalanced
in the mind that so readily shreds the visible. The business man who
assumes that this life is everything, and the mystic who asserts that it is
nothing, fail, on this side and on that, to hit the truth. "Yes, I see,
dear; it's about halfway between," Aunt Juley had hazarded in earlier
years. No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It
was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though
proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure
sterility.
Helen, agreeing here, disagreeing there,
would have talked till midnight, but Margaret, with her packing to do, focussed
the conversation on Henry. She might abuse Henry behind his back, but
please would she always, be civil to him in company? "I definitely dislike
him, but I'll do what I can," promised Helen. "Do what you can with my
friends in return."
This conversation made Margaret
easier. Their inner life was so safe that they could bargain over
externals in a way that would have been incredible to Aunt Juley, and impossible
for Tibby or Charles. There are moments when the inner life actually
"pays," when years of self-scrutiny, conducted for no ulterior motive, are
suddenly of practical use. Such moments are still rare in the West; that
they come at all promises a fairer future. Margaret, though unable to
understand her sister, was assured against estrangement, and returned to London
with a more peaceful mind.
The following morning, at
eleven o'clock, she presented herself at the offices of the Imperial and West
African Rubber Company. She was glad to go there, for Henry had implied
his business rather than described it, and the formlessness and vagueness that
one associates with Africa had hitherto brooded over the main sources of his
wealth. Not that a visit to the office cleared things up. There was
just the ordinary surface scum of ledgers and polished counters and brass bars
that began and stopped for no possible reason, of electric-light globes
blossoming in triplets, of little rabbit hutches faced with glass or wire, of
little rabbits. And even when she penetrated to the inner depths, she
found only the ordinary table and Turkey carpet, and though the map over the
fireplace did depict a helping of West Africa, it was a very ordinary map.
Another map hung opposite, on which the whole continent appeared, looking like a
whale marked out for blubber, and by its side was a door, shut, but Henry's
voice came through it, dictating a "strong" letter. She might have been at
the Porphyrion, or Dempster's Bank, or her own wine-merchant's. Everything
seems just alike in these days. But perhaps she was seeing the Imperial
side of the company rather than its West African, and Imperialism always had
been one of her difficulties.
"One minute!" called
Mr. Wilcox on receiving her name. He touched a bell, the effect of which
was to produce Charles.
Charles had written his
father an adequate letter--more adequate than Evie's, through which a girlish
indignation throbbed. And he greeted his future stepmother with
propriety.
"I hope that my wife--how do you
do? --will give you a decent lunch," was his opening. "I left
instructions, but we live in a rough-and-ready way. She expects you back
to tea, too, after you have had a look at Howards End. I wonder what
you'll think of the place. I wouldn't touch it with tongs myself. Do
sit down! It's a measly little place."
"I shall
enjoy seeing it," said Margaret, feeling, for the first time,
shy.
"You'll see it at its worst, for Bryce decamped
abroad last Monday without even arranging for a charwoman to clear up after
him. I never saw such a disgraceful mess. It's unbelievable.
He wasn't in the house a month."
"I've more than a
little bone to pick with Bryce," called Henry from the inner
chamber.
"Why did he go so
suddenly?"
"Invalid type; couldn't
sleep."
"Poor
fellow!"
"Poor fiddlesticks!" said Mr. Wilcox,
joining them. "He had the impudence to put up notice-boards without as
much as saying with your leave or by your leave. Charles flung them
down."
"Yes, I flung them down," said Charles
modestly.
"I've sent a telegram after him, and a
pretty sharp one, too. He, and he in person is responsible for the upkeep
of that house for the next three years."
"The keys
are at the farm; we wouldn't have the keys."
"Quite
right."
"Dolly would have taken them, but I was in,
fortunately."
"What's Mr. Bryce like?" asked
Margaret.
But nobody cared. Mr. Bryce was the
tenant, who had no right to sublet; to have defined him further was a waste of
time. On his misdeeds they descanted profusely, until the girl who had
been typing the strong letter came out with it. Mr. Wilcox added his
signature. "Now we'll be off," said he.
A
motor-drive, a form of felicity detested by Margaret, awaited her. Charles
saw them in, civil to the last, and in a moment the offices of the Imperial and
West African Rubber Company faded away. But it was not an impressive
drive. Perhaps the weather was to blame, being grey and banked high with
weary clouds. Perhaps Hertfordshire is scarcely intended for
motorists. Did not a gentleman once motor so quickly through Westmoreland
that he missed it? and if Westmoreland can be missed, it will fare ill
with a county whose delicate structure particularly needs the attentive
eye. Hertfordshire is England at its quietest, with little emphasis of
river and hill; it is England meditative. If Drayton were with us again to
write a new edition of his incomparable poem, he would sing the nymphs of
Hertfordshire as indeterminate of feature, with hair obfuscated by the London
smoke. Their eyes would be sad, and averted from their fate towards the
Northern flats, their leader not Isis or Sabrina, but the slowly flowing
Lea. No glory of raiment would be theirs, no urgency of dance; but they
would be real nymphs.
The chauffeur could not travel
as quickly as he had hoped, for the Great North Road was full of Easter
traffic. But he went quite quick enough for Margaret, a poor-spirited
creature, who had chickens and children on the
brain.
"They're all right," said Mr. Wilcox.
"They'll learn--like the swallows and the
telegraph-wires."
"Yes, but, while they're
learning--"
"The motor's come to stay," he
answered. "One must get about. There's a pretty church--oh, you
aren't sharp enough. Well, look out, if the road worries you--right
outward at the scenery. "
She looked at the
scenery. It heaved and merged like porridge. Presently it
congealed. They had arrived.
Charles's house on
the left; on the right the swelling forms of the Six Hills. Their
appearance in such a neighbourhood surprised her. They interrupted the
stream of residences that was thickening up towards Hilton. Beyond them
she saw meadows and a wood, and beneath them she settled that soldiers of the
best kind lay buried. She hated war and liked soldiers--it was one of her
amiable inconsistencies.
But here was Dolly, dressed
up to the nines, standing at the door to greet them, and here were the first
drops of the rain. They ran in gaily, and after a long wait in the
drawing-room sat down to the rough-and-ready lunch, every dish in which
concealed or exuded cream. Mr. Bryce was the chief topic of
conversation. Dolly described his visit with the key, while her
father-in-law gave satisfaction by chaffing her and contradicting all she
said. It was evidently the custom to laugh at Dolly. He chaffed
Margaret, too, and Margaret, roused from a grave meditation, was pleased, and
chaffed him back. Dolly seemed surprised, and eyed her curiously.
After lunch the two children came down. Margaret disliked babies, but hit
it off better with the two-year-old, and sent Dolly into fits of laughter by
talking sense to him. "Kiss them now, and come away," said Mr.
Wilcox. She came, but refused to kiss them: it was such hard luck on the
little things, she said, and though Dolly proffered Chorly-worly and
Porgly-woggles in turn, she was obdurate.
By this
time it was raining steadily. The car came round with the hood up, and
again she lost all sense of space. In a few minutes they stopped, and
Crane opened the door of the car.
"What's happened?"
asked Margaret.
"What do you suppose?" said
Henry.
A little porch was close up against her
face.
"Are we there
already?"
"We are."
"Well,
I never! In years ago it seemed so far
away."
Smiling, but somehow disillusioned, she jumped
out, and her impetus carried her to the front-door. She was about to open
it, when Henry said: "That's no good; it's locked. Who's got the
key?"
As he had himself forgotten to call for the key
at the farm, no one replied. He also wanted to know who had left the front
gate open, since a cow had strayed in from the road, and was spoiling the
croquet lawn. Then he said rather crossly: "Margaret, you wait in the
dry. I'll go down for the key. It isn't a hundred
yards.
"Mayn't I come
too?"
"No; I shall be back before I'm
gone."
Then the car turned away, and it was as if a
curtain had risen. For the second time that day she saw the appearance of
the earth.
There were the greengage-trees that Helen
had once described, there the tennis lawn, there the hedge that would be
glorious with dog-roses in June, but the vision now was of black and palest
green. Down by the dell-hole more vivid colours were awakening, and Lent
Lilies stood sentinel on its margin, or advanced in battalions over the
grass. Tulips were a tray of jewels. She could not see the wych-elm
tree, but a branch of the celebrated vine, studded with velvet knobs, had
covered the porch. She was struck by the fertility of the soil; she had
seldom been in a garden where the flowers looked so well, and even the weeds she
was idly plucking out of the porch were intensely green. Why had poor Mr.
Bryce fled from all this beauty? For she had already decided that the
place was beautiful.
"Naughty cow! Go away!"
cried Margaret to the cow, but without
indignation.
Harder came the rain, pouring out of a
windless sky, and spattering up from the notice-boards of the house-agents,
which lay in a row on the lawn where Charles had hurled them. She must
have interviewed Charles in another world--where one did have interviews.
How Helen would revel in such a notion! Charles dead, all people dead,
nothing alive but houses and gardens. The obvious dead, the intangible
alive, and--no connection at all between them! Margaret smiled.
Would that her own fancies were as clear-cut! Would that she could deal as
high-handedly with the world! Smiling and sighing, she laid her hand upon
the door. It opened. The house was not locked up at
all.
She hesitated. Ought she to wait for
Henry? He felt strongly about property, and might prefer to show her over
himself. On the other hand, he had told her to keep in the dry, and the
porch was beginning to drip. So she went in, and the drought from inside
slammed the door behind.
Desolation greeted
her. Dirty finger-prints were on the hall-windows, flue and rubbish on its
unwashed boards. The civilization of luggage had been here for a month,
and then decamped. Dining-room and drawing room--right and left--were
guessed only by their wall-papers. They were just rooms where one could
shelter from the rain. Across the ceiling of each ran a great beam.
The dining-room and hall revealed theirs openly, but the drawing-room's was
match-boarded--because the facts of life must be concealed from ladies?
Drawing-room, dining-room, and hall--how petty the names sounded! Here
were simply three rooms where children could play and friends shelter from the
rain. Yes, and they were beautiful.
Then she
opened one of the doors opposite--there were two--and exchanged wall-papers for
whitewash. It was the servants' part, though she scarcely realized that:
just rooms again, where friends might shelter. The garden at the back was
full of flowering cherries and plums. Farther on were hints of the meadow
and a black cliff of pines. Yes, the meadow was
beautiful.
Penned in by the desolate weather, she
recaptured the sense of space which the motor had tried to rob from her.
She remembered again that ten square miles are not ten times as wonderful as one
square mile, that a thousand square miles are not practically the same as
heaven. The phantom of bigness, which London encourages, was laid for ever
when she paced from the hall at Howards End to its kitchen and heard the rains
run this way and that where the watershed of the roof divided
them.
Now Helen came to her mind, scrutinizing half
Wessex from the ridge of the Purbeck Downs, and saying: "You will have to lose
something." She was not so sure. For instance, she would double her
kingdom by opening the door that concealed the
stairs.
Now she thought of the map of Africa; of
empires; of her father; of the two supreme nations, streams of whose life warmed
her blood, but, mingling, had cooled her brain. She paced back into the
hall, and as she did so the house reverberated.
"Is
that you, Henry?" she called.
There was no answer,
but the house reverberated again.
"Henry, have you
got in?"
But it was the heart of the house beating,
faintly at first, then loudly, martially. It dominated the
rain.
It is the starved imagination, not the
well-nourished, that is afraid. Margaret flung open the door to the
stairs. A noise as of drums seemed to deafen her. A woman, an old
woman, was descending, with figure erect, with face impassive, with lips that
parted and said dryly:
"Oh! Well, I took you
for Ruth Wilcox."
Margaret stammered: "I--Mrs.
Wilcox--I?"
"In fancy, of course--in fancy. You
had her way of walking. Good-day." And the old woman passed out into the
rain.